Today I completed quite a bit of yard work when I got home from school. When I was done, I went into the kitchen to wash my hand. My bedroom is above the kitchen and sometimes I can hear the boys running around. Tonight, they were crazy up there. I can actually tell the difference between Fred and Lamont when they run. Fred has a heavy and choppy gate. Lamont has a light gate that generally ends with a loud thump…when he runs into something. I heard a loud thump and giggled knowing that Lamont had probably barrel rolled into something.
As I walked upstairs, the calamity continued. I wondered what had gotten into my boys… When I opened the bedroom door, I saw that Fred had managed to mount Lamont and was attempting to have his way with him. Lamont was not a happy camper and protested loudly. “Fred!” I admonished, “Stop humping your brother!” Fred stopped and Lamont took the opportunity to dash into a snuggle sack. “We run a respectable place here!” I added, “That sort of behavior will not be tolerated…” Fred looked down with a palatable sense of regret. I got back to my personal business.
Five minutes later the boys’ roles were reversed. Lamont was enthusiastically humping Fred’s head. “Oh, poop!” I cursed as I saw this. “Now you cut it out, Lamont!” I scolded my naughty guinea pig. Lamont stopped and Fred popped out from under him. This time Fred made a hasty retreat. “Monty,” I sighed, “We do not treat our brother like that in this house…” Lamont started to whine at me. “What?” I asked, “You’re not getting a girlfriend… Besides, your both neutered. It’s supposed to stop that behavior…”
It is now bedtime and the naughty behaviors have not stopped. I have tried to separate the two. That just resulted in the both crying for each other. I have tried to bribe them with snacks. I have yelled at both. I have held both of them. I have… I have… I have given up! I am tired and want to go to bed. That yard work is tiring. They are both going to have to deal with each other. I’m going to bed. Good night! – KA