Posted by: kerryannekay | September 14, 2017

Sneaky Smell

You recall last week blog?  The one about the boys escaping and going rogue?  The lost pile of bean was found by my mother last weekend.

On Saturday, my mom came over to help me move and rearrange some stuff in my bedroom.  In the process, we took the time to vacuum in the neither region of the bedroom.  After five minutes of work my mom asked, “What’s that smell?”

“What smell?” I replied from the closet.

“It’s not a pleasant one…” she said trailing off.  I stuck my head out of the closet and saw her sniffing around the room.

“You look like Fred and Lamont on the trail of some veggies,” I laughed as I went back to work in the closet.

“No, I’m serious,” she relied to my taunt.  “And it’s not just that those boys need a good butt wash…”

“Uh-huh,” I called back as I compared two shirts.  “You do the butt wash and let me know if they actually smell better.”

“Kerry Anne,” my mother interrupted my thought process, “you need to come out here and smell this…”

“Mom, it’s the boys and their cage… You’re just not used to them.  Trust me.  They don’t smell that bad!” I told her.

“No, no, no,” she said quietly, “They’ve left you a pile of poop somewhere…”

“Uh-huh,” I said continuing to sort clothes.  After several minutes more, I heard my mom moving stuff around the bedroom.  I went out into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed.  “I’m telling you that you are not going to find anything…” I smugly told her.  She continued to search.  “Okay,” I sighed, “I’m going to lay here until you decide that we are going to finish what we are here to do…”

“Uh-huh,” my mother said under her breath.  Several moments later she moved the side table and took in a sharp breath.

“Dust bunnies?” I joked with her.

“What’s brown, smells really bad, and has a white crust on it?” my mother asked.

“Your cooking?” I joked with her and giggled a bit.

“No!” she declared, “your carpet!”

“Crud,” I sighed popping up off the bed.  I looked behind the side table.  “Yeah,” I sighed again, “they left that the last time they escaped…”

“Okay,” my mother declared, “I’m done here…”  She turned and went to leave the room.

“Wait!” I blurted, “Aren’t you going to help me clean this stuff up?”

“Those are your ‘kids’” she teased me, “it’s not my job.”

“You are their grandmother,” I replied and added, “You’re supposed to step up and help out their mother when she’s in need…”

“I’ll go and get the carpet cleaner…” she said after a long pause.  I heard my mother start down the stairs.

“Most grandparents enjoy cleaning up their grand kid’s messes…” I shouted as she went down the stairs.

“That’s so last year…” my mother called back.

All I could do was sigh at her comment.  I looked at the large, crusty poop pile and began to calculate how I was going to tackle the mess.  I heard the boys scrambling about their cage.  It was business as usual for them.  My mom returned with the carpet cleaner and we began to tackle the mess together.  After we were done, we gave up on the original purpose of visit.  The dust bunnies could wait… – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | September 8, 2017

Gone Rogue – Part 2

So, there I was, on the floor, rubbing my nose staring at the receding butt of a guinea pig.  I was the victim of a ‘nip and run’.  A moment later Lamont came trotting around the corner.  When he saw me he stopped mid stride.  He turned his head and looked at me curiously as if to say, “Why are you down here?”

I replied simply, “Don’t look at me that way…”  Lamont just huffed at me and continued on his way.  I rolled on to my back and stared at the light above me.  ‘Huh,’ I thought, ‘I need to clean that…’  Lamont started chutting next to my ear. “Uh-huh,” I sighed still fixated on the light.  He started to whine at me.  “Fine,” I said sitting up.  Lamont bolted.  “Oh, crud, dude,” I called.  “Just stand still so I can get you back into your cage.”

I was met with silence.  I stood up and went into my bedroom.  There was no sign of either guinea pig.  “Boys!” I called to the room.  “At least make some noise so I can find you…”  Silence.  “Boys?” I called again.  Silence.  “Lovely,” I sighed, “now it’s a guinea pig hunt…”

I stated checking around the room.  I checked behind the bed, behind the dresser, and in the closet.  I couldn’t find them.  “BOYS!” I finally yelled.  Silence.

I walked out of the room hoping that the boys will come out.  I stood still for several minutes waiting for a noise or movement.  Nothing.

I broke the silence with, “I am not going to play this game!  Come out now! Boys!”  I paused and added, “Boys?”  I ended with, “Please come out… Boyyyyysssss….”  They were not budging.  “Are you hungry?” I teased.  Silence.  “Fine!” I hissed.  I opened the cage fence, grabbed their food bowl, and stomped out of the room.

“I should let you both starve,” I hissed under my breath as I walked downstairs.  I made a second dinner for them and went back upstairs.  When I got up there, I announced, “BOYS!  Here is your ‘dinner’, again…”  I loudly plopped their bowl down in an effort to attract them.  I didn’t stand around to see if they ran over to the dinner bowl.  I was too smart of that.  I went downstairs and plopped myself in front of the television.

A show later I went upstairs to check on the boys. They were both in their snuggle sack snoozing.  “Uh-huh,” I sighed while closing the cage fence.  They didn’t move.

I spent the next fifteen minutes searching for the boys’ hiding spots.  My efforts were fruitless.  I sat down on the bed and saw a small leg stretch out of the backside of a snuggle sack.  Fred was stretching out for a good snooze.  “At least you had fun,” I giggled to myself.  “But, I’m not looking forward to the finding the hidden pile of beans you’ve left in your wake…”  – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | August 31, 2017

Gone Rogue – Part 1

When I got home one Sunday after dinner with my parents, I went upstairs to feed the boys.  I walked into the room to greet them.  “Hey guys!” I called.  There was no response.  Not thinking anything of the silence, I grabbed their bowl and went downstairs to make their dinner.

When I was downstairs, I heard the boys running around up in the bedroom.  I laughed at their zoomies.  “They are happy that I’m home…” I said to the vegetables that I was chopping.  As I finished up, I heard more movement upstairs.  “Wow,” I sighed, “you two are loud today…”

I went upstairs and put the bowl in the boys’ cage.  When I called for them to come out for their food, they were silent again.  “Okay,” I teased, “you can both eat when I’m gone.”  Again, I didn’t think much about them not running out to their food bowl.  The boys are secure in the fact that when they call, I will feed them.  I went back downstairs to watch television.

Again, I heard the boys racing around upstairs.  I giggled and thought, ‘I guess that they want to burn off their dinner calories before eating…’  Several minutes later Lamont started calling to be fed.  “Dude, it’s in the cage!” I called back to him.  He quieted down and I went back to the television.  The noise came again.  “LAMONT!” I called back, “Your food is in your cage… go eat it and stop begging for more!”

Lamont ignored my admonishment and immediately started whining for food…loudly.  “Jeeze!  Don’t make me come up there!” I warned.  He didn’t heed my warning and started up again.  I got up and went to the stairwell with the intent to just yell upstairs.  I saw a shadowy figure on the top of the stairs.  “LAMONT!” I said as I turned on the light.  As soon as the light came on, Lamont bolted.  “Crud!” I said starting up the stairs.  As I climbed, I mumbled words under my breath that will not be mentioned on this blog.

You see, Fred and Lamont aren’t allowed to free-range by themselves.  The like to eat the carpet.  That could cause them to have an obstruction in their digestive track.  So, no alone time when they are out of their cage area.

Where was I?  Oh, yes…  So, my focus was on getting upstairs and wrangling the boys back into their cage.  And then it happened…  I got to the top landing, right where Lamont was standing, and stepped in a pile of fresh beans.  “YUCK!” I yelled as I started to freak out a bit.

For the record, I hate stepping on beans…hate it…  They stick to the bottom of your foot!  Then, you have to walk on the side of your foot so you won’t ground them in or spread them on the rug.  And then, when you get them off, you have to clean your foot with some soap and water.  I hate stepping on beans.

Okay, back to the story…  So, yeah, I lost my cool at the top of the stairs when I stepped on Lamont’s beans.  Somehow I the panic, I managed to hook my other foot on the top step and of course, I fell.  Actually, I wiped out.  I slid a good two feet on my knees on the rug.  I felt the sting of rug burn immediately.  I rolled over to my side and moaned, “Ooooo, my guinea pigs are trying to kill me… again…”

As I looked into the open bedroom doors, Fred trotted over to me.  “Hey, you brat,” I scolded him.  He walked up to me.  I thought he wanted to snuggle.  “Did you come over here to comfort me?” I foolishly asked.  Fred took several more step towards me, reached out with his mouth, and nipped my nose.  “Fred!” I yelped.  He bolted back into the bedroom and out of sight.

I will leave you with the vision of two rouge guinea pigs loose in my bedroom as lay on the floor at the top of the stairs with horrible rug burn…  How I managed to get the boys back into their cage is the story for next week…I think I’ve managed to embarrass myself enough this week.  – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | August 10, 2017


It’s getting to the end of summer for me…and that’s a total bummer.  On a positive note, the cherry tomatoes are starting to come in.  I’ve had several of the ripe tomatoes in my salad and they are awesome.  So, I decided to put some of the ripe tomatoes into the boys’ salad the other night.  As I walked up the stairs, I was thinking about how much they would love these home-grown tomatoes.  I was feeling good about all of the hard work I had put into those stupid plants…  That was until I put the dish down into the boys’ cage.  Here’s a transcript of the boys’ reaction:

Fred:  “Oh, dinner!”  *runs over to dish*

Lamont: “Dinner!” *runs over to dish*

Fred: “Parsley!” *munch, munch, munch*

Lamont:  “Pars…What’s that?” *looks down at cherry tomato and sniffs*

Fred: *stops mid munch* “What is what?”

Lamont: *sniff, sniff*

Fred: “What?” *drops parsley*

Lamont:  “That thing…what is it?”

Fred:  *sniffs at cherry tomato*

Lamont:  “Well?”

Fred:  “It smells like a tomato…but it’s different…”

KA:  “Oh, stop being so picky and just eat it…”

Lamont:  “Is it new?”

Fred:  “I think it’s new…”

KA:  “It’s from our garden…”

Lamont:  “Did you grow it?”

KA:  “Yes!”

Fred:  “Nope…”

Lamont:  “Nope…”

KA:  “What do you mean ‘nope’?”

Fred: “Nope, nope, nope…” *grabs parsley and back away from dish*

Lamont: *Grabs apple and turns away from dish*

KA:  “Seriously, you two? You’re not going to eat those?”

Fred:  *silence*

Lamont:  *munches on apple*

KA:  “Uh-hun…  I’ll come back later to see what’s up…”

*** 2 hours later ***

KA:  *Walks back into bedroom*  “So, you guys like the new cherry tomatoes?”  *checks food dish*  “Seriously?  You two ate EVERYTHING but the cherry tomatoes I grew?!?  You’ve both had them before from the supermarket!  I know you like the variety…”

Fred:  *yawns*

Lamont:  *continues to chew on hay ignoring me*

KA:  “Fine, we will try again tomorrow…”

The next day, I added more of the home-grown tomatoes to the boys’ meals.  They didn’t eat them.  Thinking that the cherry tomatoes were under ripe, I let them get redder then added them to the boys’ meal with some store bought cherry tomatoes.  The boys ate the store bought ones and not the ones I grew…go figure…  – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | July 27, 2017

Gutters and Guineas

I had to get the gutters replaced on the house on Tuesday.  The repairmen showed up at 9:00 am sharp and got to work.  As I was watching television in the living room I heard the bending of metal and power tools working.  The boys were quite during this phase of the installation.  When the new gutters were being installed, the boys decided it was time to complain…

The first noises were from the screws being attached to the house with a power tool.  The drills made a “brrrrruuuuppt-brrrrrrrr-bbbbrrrruuppt” noise from the front of the house.  Fred took this as an invite to join in the party.  I heard him responding to the power tool.  “Brrrrrrrrr” Fred called back between power tool noises.  I went upstairs to check on the boys and get a firsthand look at the silliness.

Fred was rubble-strutting around the cage when I walked into the room.  “Oh, sexy pig!” I called to him when he stopped to listen to the power tool noise.  The noise stopped and Fred called back “Brrrrrrrrr”.  He walked around in a circle and wiggled his butt.  “Oh,” I teased Fred, “she sounds sexy… I think you may have a chance with this one!”

When the front of house was done, the workmen moved to the back.  I walked out to talk with them about the exact placement of the downspouts and the gutter extensions.  A worker was up on a ladder above my bedroom windows…that were wide open.  “Ma’am,” he called down to me.

“Yes,” I called back.

“It sounds like you have an alarm going off in your bedroom…” he informed me while tilting his head to get a better fix on the sound.

“Oh,” I asked, “like a clock alarm?”

“No,” the guy said, “it sounds like ‘O-o-O-woo-ooo-w-O-O’.”  He did his best to mimic the sound but sound eerily like a ‘Minion’.

“That’s the guinea pig alarm,” I laughed.

“The guinea pig alarm?” the guy asked.

“Yes,” I called up, “it’s the boys complaining about the noise that you’re making.”

“Wait!” the guy asked, “they complain?”

“Yeup,” I said proudly.

“Go ahead and put in another screw and listen for them…” I instructed him.  The guy put in another screw and the boys responded in kind.

“Wheeeeeekk!” Lamont complained.

“Brrrurrrurrppp, wheek,” Fred added his two cents.

“That’s really funny!” the guy called from the top of the ladder.  He moved and put in another screw.  As soon as the screw was in, he stopped and listened for the boys.  The complained back to him.  “That’s awesome!” he called down to me.

“Yeah,” I giggled, “they are two cool dudes!  I’ll get them and you can meet them when you’re done.”

“Sure!” he said with a smile and went back to work.  I noticed that as he worked, he stopped and listened for the boys’ response to his tool noise.  I also noticed that he had a large grin on his face.

When the gutters were installed, I grabbed the boys and they met the three workers.  These three tough guys all melted when they held Fred and Lamont.  They cooed and awed at them.  I think it was a nice break from their normal day.  It was a good day for everyone…and the gutters look great, too.  – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | July 20, 2017

Sack No!

The introduction of new items into the boys’ cage is important for their enrichment.  I buy guinea pig safe chew toys and new snuggles for them when I see something cute.  Everything that is not editable has been rejected…flat out rejected…

Two months ago, I ordered these two really cute snuggle sacks for the boys.  They had cute frogs leaping on lily pads on the outside and a cute green on the inside.  I washed the new sacks with the boys’ laundry.  That way I could ensure a bit of scent transfer and wash off any old scents.

When I placed the sacks in their cage, they sniffed at them curiously.  Fred even walked in and out of one.  I thought they liked them.  I thought wrong.

I left the boys alone with their new sacks for a couple of hours.  When I returned they had clearly not gone near the sacks.  There was a line of beans delineating the sack side of the cage from the rest of it.  To top it off, both boys were sound asleep together in their hut!  Fred and Lamont like being near each other but rarely share anything.

“Don’t like these?” I asked the boys as they emerged from the sack.  “Okay,” I conceded, “You can have the old ones back…”  As I removed the sacks, the boys stood curiously looking at me.  “Here,” I declared as I put the old sacks back into the cage.  Both boys started to popcorn.  “Yes, it’s your old sacks,” I giggled.  The boys began to run in circles using the two sacks a passages.  “Okay, okay,” I sighed, “I’ll let you keep the old sacks.”

I have done five or six repairs on the boys’ old sacks.  They reject the new sacks each time I have placed them in their cage.  I now just leave them next to the cage.  I hope one day that they will smell enough like the boys to switch out for the old ones… I’m not hopeful.  Those two are set in their ways! – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | July 6, 2017

Niece Disaster…

My niece was down visiting me this holiday weekend.  We had a nice time visiting many of the sites including the National Aquarium in Baltimore.  In her words, “I got to see the fishies!”  The boys are not fans…

Monday morning my niece was up before me.  I was rudely awaken with a tapping on my forehead and a small voice saying, “Aunt Kay-Kay… wake up… Fred and Mont need breakfast…”

Of course I rolled over and moaned, “Go tell you mother…  She will feed them…”  It didn’t work.

“Aunt Kay-Kay,” she wisped to me.

“Huh?” I sighed rolling over in order to be face to face.

“They have a lot of poop…” she explained to me.

“Yes, Mimi,” I acknowledged.  I then added, “Go tell your mother about the poop.”

“Uhhhh,” she sighed, “Aunt Kay-Kay…”

“Yes, Mimi,” I sighed.

“Here,” she declared and dropped a whole handful of guinea pig beans in front of my face on the bed.

“Oh, Mimi!” I groaned and went to get up.  That’s when I noticed that she had been hard at work for a quite a while.  There were four piles of beans on my blanket on the edge of the bed.  “Oh, Mimi!” I repeated in exasperation.

“I cleaned it for you!” she declared happily.

“That’s not the trash can!” I sighed pointing at the bed and floor.  “That’s the trash can!” I told her while pointing at the trash can next to the boys’ cage.

“Ohhhh,” she whispered and tried to grab for the beans on my bed.

“NOOOO!” I gasped and grabbed her hand.  As I got up, beans scattered all over the rug around the bed.  “Ugh,” I said.  There were beans all over the room.  “What did you do?” I asked her.

“I helped the boys’ with their poop!” she proudly informed me.

“Did you eat any?” I asked picking her up.

“No, silly Aunt Kay-Kay,” she giggled, “You don’t eat poop!” She was talking to me like I was three and she was the adult.

“Oh, of course,” I agreed, “And you’re not supposed to be in the boys’ cage without Aunt Kay-Kay or Mommy…”

“I forgot,” Mimi explained.  It was a typical excuse for the three year old.

“Okay,” I declared, “Bath time!” and put her down outside of the disaster zone…my bedroom.

I started the water and Mimi took off her pajamas.  She danced and jumped while waiting for the tub to fill.  The running water woke up my sister.

“Why are you giving Mimi a bath?” came her voice from behind me.  “And what happened to your bedroom?  Did Fred and Lamont get out?”

“Well,” I sighed, “Mimi’s bath time and the bedroom are related… Any guesses?”

“I’ll get the vacuum,” responded my sister.  Several moments later I heard the vacuum.  When she was done, I heard my sister making comments under her breath about the mess.

“How did you sleep through that?” she asked walking back into the bathroom.

“How did you sleep through her getting out of bed, opening the door, and leaving your room?” I retorted.

“Didn’t the boys wake you up?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.  “Mimi?” I asked the splashing child in the tub, “Did you wake up Fred and Lamont?”

“No,” she said immediately returning to her splashing.

“Are you sure?” I checked with her.

“Fred and Mont are sleeping…shhhhhh…” she whispered.

“Apparently the guinea pigs slept through that whole thing too…” I concluded.

I finished with Mimi’s bath and dried her off.  My sister got her ready for the day.  I went and fed the boys.  The looked completely normal and were even annoyed that I had woken them up for breakfast.  Apparently, sleeping through disasters runs in the family.

– KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | July 1, 2017


As a guinea pig mother, one of the best things that I can do is check the boys’ health is to check their poop on a daily basis.  So as I clean I grab a bean or two and check its firmness, size, shape, and smell.  When one of those things is off, one of the boys is having a potential issue.

It’s not like I enjoy dissecting beans.  Or that I give them ratings: “Yes, firmness is an 8, size is a 10, shape is an 8, and smell is a 2… This bean passes inspection.”  Besides, guinea pig beans are not like traditional poop.  They only eat hay, veg, and lettuces.  So, the poop is cleaner and usually doesn’t smell.

So the other day, I noticed that some of the beans in the boys’ area were a bit odd in shape.  When I picked one up it was way too soft.  I knew one of the boys was not feeling well or had eaten too much.  I picked up Lamont and inspect his backside.  It was clean.  He protested as I put him back in the cage.

When I picked up Fred, I saw that he had some soft poop sticking to his butt.  “Fred, you are the winner!” I declared to him.  I tucked him under my arm and we went off to the bathroom to give him a butt bath.  Fred didn’t complain one time as I washed his backside.  I think he enjoyed getting cleaned up.

When Fred was done, I took him downstairs and gave him some probiotics.  I always keep BeneBac in the fridge.  Initially, Fred fought me on taking the probiotics.  After he got a quick taste of it, he wouldn’t let go of the tube.  “Hey,” I said, “let it go!”  He released his grip and then went in for another grab.  “Nope!” I said pulling the tube away from him, “Your brother needs to get some too!” I laughed and headed back upstairs with Fred in my arms.

When I got upstairs, I put Fred back and grabbed Lamont.  Of course, he complained and squirmed in my hands.  “Stop,” I said, “here have some of this…” Lamont got a taste and grabbed on to the tube with his teeth.  “I know you like that stuff too…” I teased him.  When he finally released the tube, I put him back in the cage.

By the second day, Fred’s poop was back to normal.  I treated the boys for five days to make sure they were ok.  I know that Lamont did not need the probiotics.  However, when you have two guinea pigs together, it’s advisable to treat them together.  The probiotics don’t hurt a healthy guinea pig but can keep that healthy guinea pig healthy.

Poop is life.   – KA

Posted by: kerryannekay | June 22, 2017

Spa Adventure – Part Three and Four

Part Three:

I sat in the waiting room of the pet spa for another five minutes in dead silence.  The boys knew something was up too.  They didn’t make a peep.  “This is stupid,” I sighed and got up.  I walked up to the welcome desk and began to ring the service bell.

*ding* *ding* *ding* the bell rang with a dainty echo. There was no response.  I looked up and waved to the camera pointing at the front desk.  “Hello?” I politely called.  Nothing.

I tried again.  This time I hit the bell a bit harder… *DING* *DING* *DING* it rang with a harshness that reflected my growing impatience.  “Helloooooo!” I called to the camera, “Are my guinea pigs going to be able to get their nails done? Hello?”  I waved at the camera for emphasis.  I stood there for several moments more.  No one came out to help me.

Now I was angry.  I pounded the bell *DRING* *DRING* *di* in the middle of the third ding, the bell gave up the ghost.  I picked up the bell and a part fell out.  “Ooops,” I said putting it down gingerly.

It was obvious that I wasn’t going to be served by these people.  I turned, walked to the boys’ carrier, picked it up, and walked out with them in tow.
“You’re not getting your nails done today…” I sighed.  I put the boys into the front seat.  As I started to strap them in I looked up and saw a sign on the nail salon next to the pet spa.  ‘We specialize in pet and owner packages!’

“Huh,” I said to the boys.  Looking down at the carrier I asked, “You wanna try it?” A small *wheek* came from Lamont.  “Yeah,” I agreed with him.  Fred added a *errreeerreee*, “That’s true,” I replied, “the worst they can do is tell us to leave…” It was decided.  I grabbed the carrier and walked over to the nail salon…the human nail salon with the boys.

Part Four: 

My greeting was totally different at this place.  “Helllooooo!” a small Asian women called from behind the desk, “You want a pamper for you and your dog?” she asked

“Two guinea pigs,” I corrected her, “and just a nail trim for them please…”

“Ooooo,” she asked turning her head not understanding what I had said.

I put the carrier down on a chair in the waiting area and took out Fred.  “Ohhh!” the lady exclaimed with pure joy.  Her small feet moved like lighting as she came over to hold Fred.  I handed him to her.

“That’s Fred,” I said, “and this,” I added grabbing Lamont out of carrier, “is Lamont.”

“Two!” she exclaimed.  “Oooo!” she said shifting Fred in her arms.  She deftly took Lamont out of my hands.  “Ok, you pick color,” she said pointing at the rack of nail polish with her chin.

“No colors!” I called to her back as she rushed off to show off Fred and Lamont.  “Just a trim, please!” It was no use.  She was gone with my guinea pigs.  Lamont was handed off to another nail technician who giggled and promptly began fawning over him.  The first lady and the second technician went into a side room with the boys.  I sat down hoping that the boys were in good hands.

A third lady came over to me and asked, “Mani-pedi?”

“No thank you.  I’m just here for the boys…er… the guinea pigs,” I explained.

“Oh,” the technician exclaimed undeterred, “You can match them!”  She stepped over to the massive wall of nail polishes.  “It’s all pet safe!”

“Yes,” I said politely, “I understand.”  I then added, “Do you know where my guinea pigs are?”

“Pet room,” the technician said plainly.

“Pet room?” I asked.

“We have a room for pets…for sanitary reasons,” she explained.

“Oh, good idea,” I said.

“Your nails?” the lady asked again.

“I have to get the boys back home,” I explained clearly disappointing the technician.  “But, I will come back tomorrow… okay?”

“Okay!” the technician declared, “I see you then!”  She turned and went back to her desk area.

Moments later the front desk lady appeared out of the ‘pet room’ with Fred and Lamont tucked into her sides like she was carrying two footballs.  “All done!” she declared.  I opened the carrier and she deftly popped both boys into it.  “All done!” she said turning to me.  “NO color…clear!  OKAY!” she told me.

“Okay, thanks,” was my response.  “How much?” I asked.  She gave me a price that was under $20 for both boys.  I happily paid and gave the lady a generous tip for her and the other technician.  I grabbed the carrier and took the boys home.

The next day, I returned to the nail salon as promised.  I was greeted with “Guinea pig lady!” by the women at the front counter.  It was the most wonderful thing someone could have said to me.  I got a mani-pedi for myself.  And yes, I matched the boys.  I got a clear coat.


I found a new place for Fred and Lamont to get their nails done.  And I found a new place for my nails.  I won’t return to the pet spa.  A small amount of respect and a joy for life can go so far.  They have earned my business.

Posted by: kerryannekay | May 26, 2017

Spa Adventures – Part Two

Where was I?  Oh yes, so this little girl with this poor dog named Princess wanted to know what was in the box.  Of course, I was nice and told her “guinea pigs”.  She looked like she had just won the lottery

“OOOOOOOOOOO,” she cooed as her voice up three octaves, “I looooove guinea pigs…”

This girl was way too enthusiastic about getting her hands on my boys.  She remined me of the little girls in the movie “The Shinning”.  Creepy.  All I said was, “Yes, so do I…”

The little girl took two steps closer to me, “Can, can, can,” she stammered, “can I see them?  Can I play with them?”

“Ahhhhhh…” I said looking down at the carrier in the seat next to me.  “I think that they are sleeping…”  In response to my statement, the boys decided to start a loud argument.

“It doesn’t sound like they are sleeping to me…” the girl said with her most silky voice.

“Well, they, they, talk in their sleep…” I blurted out.

Again, the girl took two steps towards me.  “Are they running in their sleep?” she asked while pointing at the clearly rocking carrier.

“Uhhhhhh,” I mumbled.  The girl then tilted her head and gave me her most beguiling smile.  She took another step towards the carrier.  *queue “Psycho” shower scene music* I had to do something to stop her.  “My guiena pigs bite!” I blurted out and added, “They almost took off the last groomer’s finger!”

That proclamation stopped the girl in her tracks.  “Well,” the girl sniffed in disgust, “all of my pets are well behaved and would not try to eat anyone’s fingers…”  She turned and walked back towards her dog.

“Yeah,” I said for the benefit of this girl, “fifty stiches.”

And that’s when I looked up and saw the employee standing there with the sign-in clipboard.  Her mouth was wide open in dismay.  She stood there staring at the carrier.  Of course, Fred and Lamont were still in an argument and rocking it.

“Cut it out,” I loudly whispered while I *coughed* to cover the noise of gently slapping the top of the carrier.  The boys went still.  The employee went pale white.  A heavy moment of silence fell over the room.

“Are you ok?” I asked out of true concern for her wellbeing.  My question managed to get her out of her shock.

“P-p-p-p-prin-pinc-princesssss?” she managed.

“She was first,” the little girl said pointing at the carrier.

“I, I, I-I, I can-t-t-t do that thing…” the employee blurted out, “I’m not trained.”  The little girl nodded buying this lady’s story.   The employee walked up to the mother, grabbed the dog’s leash, and said, “Let’s go!”  There was no greeting or consult.  The employee took the dog and took off to the safety of the back area.

“Wait,” the mother yelled, “How do you know what I want?”

“Fill out the form on the front counter,” came the employee’s voice.  The back-room door closed with a firm thud.

“Well, I never!” the mother exclaimed.  She got up and marched over to the counter.  While there, she angrily scribbled on a guest request form.  When she was done, she called to her daughter, “Let’s go!”  The little chimes on the door jingled as the door swung open and then shut.


I was left in an eerily silent waiting room with Fred and Lamont in their carrier.  I said the first thing that came to my mind, “Was it something I said?”
Where did everyone go?  Will Fred and Lamont be allowed to get their nails cut?  Why does Kerry Anne’s imagination always run wild?  Come back next week for part three of: “Spa Adventure”.   – KA

Older Posts »