Posted by: kerryannekay | March 27, 2014

Booty Calls

Did you know that guinea pigs have a call that they use to ‘impress’ each other? They will make this low rumble noise at a potential mate or threat. This noise is called rumblestrutting. Sometimes, the guinea pig will shake their rumps towards a mate in order to make the advance more solid. That’s all normal behavior for one guinea pig towards another. But what does it mean when Alfalfa does it towards me? Is my guinea pig flirting with me? Is he trying to put the moves on me? Do I really want to know?

This all started the other day. Alfalfa was under my desk sleeping. When I pulled my chair under the desk he started to rumblestrut at me. I thought he was just annoyed that I had invaded ‘his space’. It continued for a bit so I leaned down and gave him a quick pat on his butt. I am the alpha in this house and I let him know! It didn’t work.

"It's a hard life..." - A

“It’s a hard life…” – A

Alfalfa began to rumblestrut again even louder. “Ok,” I sighed looking down at my odd guinea pig, “look, I’m the alpha in this house. Making that noise in an attempt to intimate me isn’t going to work…dummy.” Alfalfa opened his mouth at me exposing his front teeth and tongue. “Ha!” I declared, “my teeth are bigger…” I opened my mouth mimicking his motion.

Alfalfa popcorned excitedly several times. He was enjoying our little contest of wills. “Oh,” I sighed, “so, now it’s fun for you?” He huffed at me, turned and started to rumblestrut while shaking his butt. “Seriously dude?” I scoffed. “Now you’re flirting with me?” My comment didn’t faze him. He kept on shaking his butt and rumblestrutting.

I couldn’t help it. I bust out laughing. Not a normal laugh but a full out let it all out laugh. My guinea pig was trying to pick me up… I sat and laughed for about five minutes. Alfalfa sat the whole time staring up at me. Each time I looked down at him it reignited my laughing. My phone rang. I picked it up and answered with a laughing, “Hello?”

“It’s your mother…” I heard on the other end. I continued to giggle. “What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Well,” I said trying to catch my breath, “Alfalfa was just shaking his booty trying to pick me up.”
“Oh, well,” my mom sighed, “at least someone is interested in you…”
“Hey,” I said, “That’s harsh.” My mom just groaned on the other end. Then I felt it. Alfalfa was making his move…for my foot. “ALFALFA!” I yelled throwing the phone with my mother on the other end in the air. I pushed back my chair and got up all with one motion. ‘My foot! M foot!’ was all I could think as I hopped over to the bathroom. ‘I need to wash my foot…’

"My sexy booty!" - A

“My sexy booty!” – A

After sanitizing my foot, I went back into the living room and my desk. I saw Alfalfa sitting by my phone on the floor. My mom was talking to him, “Who’s the best dude? Alfalfa! Alfalfa!” she was cooing. And Alfalfa was chattering back to her. My guinea pig was having a conversation with my mother over the phone! I could not believe what I was seeing and hearing.

“Alright!” I said to Alfalfa. “Off the phone!” He looked up and bolted for the bed. My mother was saying “Alfalfa? Where did you go?” on the phone as I picked it up and put it to my ear. “Seriously mom?” I asked.
“What?” she said defensively.
“You were having a conservation with my guinea pig…” I reminded her.
“You left. I thought you gave the phone to him to talk to me…” she said plainly.
“Oh, ok…” I sighed. I had enough. “I’ll call you back… bye.” I said hanging up the phone. I went over to my bed and plopped down. As I stared up at the ceiling I mentally reviewed the last fifteen minutes of my life.

Guinea pig being aggressive toward me. – Check
Me being aggressive back at guinea pig. – Check
Guinea pig flirting with me. – Check
Guinea pig making my foot his girlfriend. – Check
Me sanitizing my foot. – Check
My mother taking with my guinea pig on the phone. – Check

Yeup, it’s a typical day here… *sigh*

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Responses

  1. Sometimes whee male pigs need to put our boundless enthusiasm somewhere, for Dusty his brother Whizz was always the subject of his endless desire!
    The Pigs xx


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