Posted by: kerryannekay | January 12, 2018

An Update and A House Story

Well, it’s been a cold couple of weeks.  Yeup.  Fred and Lamont have gone into hibernation mode.  They are not coming out until temperatures stabilize at 60F, outside.  I’ve removed their outer fence to give them some freedom.  Nope.  They come out of the covers to eat, drink, and use the bathroom.  I keep the bedroom at a nice 70F.  They have a supplemental heater in that room.  They are warm, well-fed, and well-loved.  So, I don’t know what their issues are…spoiled brats.

On another note, I’m working on updating my second blog page.  I only have two things on it.  I’ve decided to publish stories that don’t relate to Fred and Lamont on that page.  I find that I have lots of stories that I would like to share but they don’t belong on “Cavy Adventures”.  So, I’m going to put those on the other page and see what happens.  Don’t worry, I’ll share those with you and I’m NOT getting rid of CA.  I’m just expanding my possibilities…  For example:

 

On Monday of this week, our students were dismissed from school early for the bad weather.  The kids left at 11:30 am.  I was able to leave at 2:00 pm.  It took me some extra time to drive home as the roads were getting icy.

When I got home, I slid down the sidewalk to my front door.  After putting my stuff down, I got out the salt and salted the front walk.  My phone started to ring.  It was Barry, my next door neighbor.  I turned and looked at his house, “Yes, Barry,” I answered, “You know it’s creepy when iyou spy on me from your house…”

“I’m not spying,” he snorted, “I wanted to tell you that your house blew up this morning.”

I turned and looked at my intact, fully-functioning, and definitely not blown up house.  “Uhhhhhh,” was all I got out.

Larry continued, “You know I leave the house early…”

“Uh-huh,” I agreed as I quickly returned to my house to confirm its un-blown-up status.

“Well, I heard something go off!” he explained and added, “BOOM!” for emphasis.

“Okay,” I said as I started pulling open doors on the first floor to see if indeed ALL parts of the house remained in tack and not blown up.  Call me paranoid but I thought I should check it out just be sure I hadn’t missed a gaping hole or a missing bedroom. I had paid for a 3 bedroom house and wasn’t planning on downgrading to a 2 bedroom at the same price…just saying.

“Yeah,” breathlessly went on, “Then there was like three or four more… boom, boom, boom, boom!”

“That’s not good,” I replied trying to keep the panic out of my voice.  “Are you sure it wasn’t the trucking company across the road?”  I finished checking the downstairs and then went to go upstairs.

“NO,” he replied without hesitation, “It was your storage closet… Stuff blew up in there.”

“Okay,” I said as I turned around in the middle of climbing the stairs and headed out toward the alleged location of the disaster.  I grabbed my keys on the way out the back door.  “Uhhh, Barry?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“If you thought my house blew up and you heard it blow up,” I asked while opening the storage area, “Why didn’t you just call me this morning…  That’s kinda important information for me to know…”

“Oh,” he sighed, “I didn’t want to wake you up… it was early.”

“Oh, of course not,” I replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster through my growing panic.  “Hold on,” I commanded.  I frantically searched through the porch storage area for potential signs of damage.  Everything was in its proper place.  I got back on my phone.  “There’s nothing here,” I told him.  I added, “Hold on, let me check the shed…”

I jogged the short distance over to the shed thinking the worse as I approached.  Again, it seemed normal.  I unlocked the door and opened it.  There was nothing wrong there.

“Barry,” I sighed, “I think you may have heard something from the highway…”

“I didn’t! I have great hearing!” he defensively responded, “Your house blew up!”

“Okay,” I sighed, “Can you please stop saying ‘your house blew up’, please?”

“Well…” he started.

“NO!” I cut him off, “I can’t find anything wrong.  And if you keep saying that, you’re going to curse me and my house!  STOP IT!”

“Okay, fine,” he agreed.  “So, call me back when you figure out how your house blew up.  Bye.” He hung up the phone completely oblivious the fact that he had just tried to curse me and the house again.

“Darn-it,” I said to the dead phone.  This started an hour long search of the house for whatever had ‘blown up’.  I didn’t find anything.  I was exhausted and laid down on the couch for a quick nap.

An hour later I got a call.  It was Barry again.  “Kay?” he asked me.

“Yeah,” I yawned.

“Did I wake you?” he asked.

“No,” I yawned again, “I was watching television with my eyes closed.”

Barry didn’t get my sarcasm.  “I figured out what blew up!” he proudly declared.
“Uh-huh” I sighed.

“It was my house!” he told me with a bit too much excitement in his voice.  Before I could respond he went on, “You know those diet soda?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“Six cans of them blew up in my closet.  There’s soda, er, ice everywhere!” Barry explained with pride.

“Yuck,” I replied.

“So, you’re safe.  Your house didn’t blow up,” he reassured me.

“Barry, please stop saying that my house ‘blew up’, okay?” I asked.

“Right, right,” he agreed, “that’s not good, right.”

“Thank you,” I answered.

“I’ll keep an ear out for when something does blow up over there…” he told me.

I gave up and simply said, “Thanks.”

“Okay, bye,” Barry replied and hung up.

Crisis averted.  For now? I’m not sure, but I do think my neighbor is crazy.  Perhaps I shouldn’t have shared my phone number with him…  Oh, the joys of home ownership.  Happy one year house anniversary to me. – KA


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