Posted by: kerryannekay | May 11, 2017

Spa Adventures – Part 1

A new pet groomer opened nearby recently.  So, I called and asked if they would be willing to trim my two guinea pigs’ nails.  The nice lady on the phone agreed after having me ensure that their nail trims were similar to a cat or dog.  She had never cut any guinea pig nails and wanted to make sure it was something that she could handle.

So, I loaded the boys into their carrier, bucked it into the car, and off we went.  When I arrived at the store, there were two people in front of me.  I signed my pets name and requested service on the visitor’s guest book and sat down.  Several minutes later a lady from the back emerged.  She checked the guest book and called, “Bubbles, are you ready for your pampering session?” I snickered when I heard the employee say that to the waiting room.

A woman got up and walked towards the employee.  Her and her poodle wore matching scarves.  The white poodle walked across the floor as if anything less than luxury pillows under her paws was unacceptable.  I half snickered and half laughed at the site.  The lady turned at me and scowled.  To cover, I cleared my thought and coughed.  I was relieved when I heard her discussing a “pick up time” for “Bubbles” after she received the “full day spa treatment” with “no expenses spared” with the employee.

The employee pulled out a rack of nail polish colors and began to discuss “today’s look for the modern dog” and “colors that would complement Bubble’s fur”.  I almost lost it again.  All I could think was, ‘Her fur is white…  All colors compliment white…  What is this lady thinking?’ Several more moments passed and Bubbles was successfully handed off to the employee.  As the Lady left, she made sure to put her nose up in the air and show me her distain for my small outbursts.

The spa door closed and I let out an audible sigh.  “That wasn’t for you…” a voice called from my left.  “It was for me,” the voice added.

“Oh?” I asked as I saw a lady with a brown mutt sitting at her feet.

“Rusty rolled in his poop again,” she said matter-of-factly.  “He does this at least once a month…”

“Oh,” was all I could get out.  And then, I noticed the smell.  “OHHH,” I added.

“Yeah,” the lady sighed, “that poodle had enough perfume on it to be a walking air freshener.”

“Yeah…” I got out before starting to gag on the smell.  “Perfume,” I added.

I was saved by a “Rusty?” coming from another employee.  She walked forward towards the dog and abruptly stopped.  “Did you have a bit of an accident?” she asked carefully.

“No,” his mother said, “He rolled in his own poop…again.”

“Again?!?” the employee asked sounding fake and overjoyed.

“Just hose him down and scrub him down.  I don’t want that stuff in my tub and it’s too cold outside for the garden hose,” the lady said standing up offering a crusty leash.  The employee looked at the leash in horror.  She quickly recovered her composure and grabbed it gingerly with two fingers.

“Uhhhhhh…” the employee half asked and half sighed.

“Just scrub down,” the lady said, “He doesn’t need any of that froufrou crap.  You’ll make your money off of us when we have to come back…  He does this quite often…”

“Often?” the employee asked.

“Yes,” the lady said looking down at the dog and scowling, “He was in deep… deep… well, you know, with his dad over this…  You should see the couch…”

Hearing enough, the employee said, “Ok, let’s go Rusty.”  She turned to walk into the back.  The dog dutifully followed.

When the employee was gone, the lady said to me, “Let them know I’ve gone to get something to eat. Okay?”

“Sure,” I said as she walked out of the door.

I sat for another couple of minutes before more business walked in.  It was a mom and her daughter.  The daughter had a walking hairball in tow.  There were ribbons and barrettes all over the hairball.  “You sit down with Princess,” the mother told the daughter, “I will sign us in…”

“Oh, my…” I gasped as the poor hairball walked past me.  I could not tell what type of dog was under that hair.

The mother must have heard me.  “Uhhh,” she sighed as she went to sit down, “my younger daughter likes to ‘style’ Princess’ hair.  She got a bit carried away with it this time.  I can’t get most of it out…”

“Oh,” I replied.  Then added, “It’s important to have career goals…”

The mother giggled at me. That’s when the daughter noticed my carrier.  “What’s in the box?” she asked.

“Guinea pigs…” I replied.

“OOOOOOOOOOO,” the daughter replied with her voice going up three octaves, “I looooove guinea pigs…”

‘Oh, my…’ was all I could think to myself.


Will the dog that rolled in poop ever be clean?  Will the girl in the waiting room leave KA along?  Will Fred and Lamont actually get their nails cut?  Visit us again next week for the exiting continuation of: “Spa Adventure”.  You don’t want to miss it! – KA



  1. Are Fred & Lamont ready for an actual spa? Is the spa ready for Fred & Lamont!?

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