Posted by: kerryannekay | April 12, 2017

Treat Me

Alas, I have finally found a healthy treat that both boys like.  It’s a timothy hay ring that is all natural and high in fiber…and is good for them.  Both Fred and Lamont have caught on to the fact that I give them treats once or twice a day.  I try to only give them treats once or twice a day.  Lamont has decided that he doesn’t like that rule…at all…


I was home sick today this afternoon after a doctor’s appointment.  After I got home, I laid down on the couch and wrapped myself in a blanket.  As soon as the television volume went on, the boys started to complain.  I had made the mistake of coming home and not going upstairs to greet them:

Lamont: *wheek, wheek, wheek*

Me: “What?” *mutes television*

Lamont:  *WHHHEEEEEK*!!!!

Me: “I’m on the couch sick…”  *forced cough*  “Hear that?” *real cough*

Lamont: *Brrrrrrrrrr…*

Me: “Don’t you yell at me, young man!”

Fred: *wheek*

Me: Muttering to self, “Oh, great, now they are both at it…”

Lamont: *wheek, wheek, wheek*

Me: “Fine, I’ll come up there.”

I walked upstairs and was greeted by two dancing guiena pigs. “Was it truly necessary to make me hike up these stairs in my condition?” I asked them both as they ran laps.  There was no response.  I put stuff down that I had carried upstairs and turned to leave.  The boys noticed this and stopped.

Lamont let out an ungodly *WHHHEEEEEK* at me.  “What?” I asked turning.  Then I saw the bag of treats.  “Do you want a treat?” I asked.  Both boys simultaneously popcorned.  “Well, then,” I giggled, “I’ll take that as a strong yes.”  I gave the boys each two treats and went back downstairs.

I snuggled back into my blanket and unmuted the television. The complaints started back up:

Lamont: *wheek, wheek, wheek*

Me: “No, Lamont, no!” *mutes television*

Lamont: *wheek, wheek*

Me: “I can’t hear you…” *unmutes television*

Lamont: Turns up his own volume *WHEEK*

Me: “Oh, for goodness sake!”

I got up and went back upstairs.  Again, the boys started dancing in anticipation of a treat.  “No, no, no…” I scolded them.  “Treats are treats…  You’re not supposed to get them every five minutes… That’s what makes them treats.”  They didn’t want any of my explanation.  Fred began to *burrrrrrr* at me in anger and Lamont threw his head side to side.  “What has gotten into you two?” I asked.  “Stop!” I said firmly.  They didn’t.

“Fine,” I sighed picking up the treat bag and shaking.  Both boys stopped and ran to the cage bars anticipating their tasty morsel.  “This is it!” I said as I handed each one treat ring.  I put the bag away and headed downstairs.

I didn’t even make it half way down the stairs before the begging started again.  A cacophony of *wheek, wheek* and *brrrrrr, brrrrrr* floated down the stairs.  I thought to myself, ‘I’m never going to get in a nap at this rate… I need to outsmart these two numb-sculls.’  Then it hit me!

“Ok, boys,” I shouted up the stairs, “I’ll be back in about…” I paused to set my alarm on my phone, “oh, about two hours…”  The noises continued.  I added my customary good bye, “Behave, you two!”   I went to the front door, opened it, and then loudly closed it.  The noise stopped.  I giggled to myself, “Success!”

I turned off the television so that there would be no auditory trace that I was still home.  Then I laid down for my well-deserved nap.  Fred and Lamont were silent throughout my entire nap.  When I woke to my phone alarm, the other two house alarms went off.  ‘So much for the snooze button.’ I thought as I got up off of the couch.  I yelled upstairs to the boys:

Me: “What’s up dudes?”

Lamont: *wheek, wheek, wheek*

Fred:  * wheek, wheek, wheek*


It never ends.  But that’s okay.  At least I got a two-hour nap in… – KA



    • Thanks. We learn from the best! – F&L

  2. I love the way you outsmarted the boys!

    • Outsmarted? We don’t think so! We let her sleep. – F&L

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