Posted by: kerryannekay | March 17, 2017

Four Food

The snowstorm closed my school district for two days. You would think a teacher would like snow days. I don’t. I like schedules.  Even in the summer, I develop a personal schedule. So these past two days totally threw me off. 

I went to bed Monday night absolutely expecting to not be in school on Tuesday. Sure enough we got a phone call that school was closed at 8 PM Monday night. Naturally I turn off my alarms and decided that I was going to sleep in.  

At about 4 AM the sleet was coming down very hard and it must’ve woken up Fred and Lamont. They both started calling for breakfast. Not knowing the time, I got up to use the ladies room and feed the boys. I didn’t wait for the boys to approve of my breakfast selections. I went back to bed and soon fell sleep to the gentle pinging of sleet off the roof. 

I woke at 6 AM out of habit. I saw the boys bowl was empty so naturally I grabbed it and went downstairs to make them breakfast. It was only on my way back up stairs that I realized that this was the second time I was making them breakfast. But, it was too late! There supersonic hearing had alerted them through two floors to the chopping noises comming from the kitchen.   Fred and Lamont chirped and danced in anticipation of their second breakfast. “Fine,” I moaned, “don’t expect this every morning…” I set their dish down and again the eagerly tucked in to breakfast.

The power went out at about 1 PM. I had to place a blanket over Fred and Lamont’s Cage to ensure that they stayed warm. At about 4:30 PM the power came back on. I took the blanket off of Fred and Lamont’s cage and was greeted by two happy pigs thinking it was time for breakfast…again! (Trust me there’s a specific wheek that they use when they want food.). The time in the mostly dark cage must have counted as “night”. So, in GP logic, the lights coming back on meant it was morning…

“Boys!” I called, “You will get your dinner at 6 PM like you do every night!”  This was unacceptable to both guinea pigs and they loudly protested. I refused to give into the pathetic noises coming from the bedroom. They were not starving! They had plenty of hay and pellets! 

Five minutes later I found myself in the kitchen making dinner for my spoiled guinea pigs. When I returned to the bedroom I was greeted like a hero. The boys did a happy dance around the bowl and made quick work of their dinner…

At 6 PM the house was back to normal temperature and the Internet was back. I went upstairs to stretch out in bed after shoveling the front walk. When I walked into the bedroom Fred and Lamont greeted me with a cacophony of wheeks and wines. “No!” I scolded the boys, “Just because it 6 o’clock doesn’t mean that you’re going to be fed!  You got fed at 4:30! You’re both done! No more food!  You going eat me out of house and home!”

My resolve lasted for a whole 15 minutes this time. I couldn’t stand it. I went downstairs and made the boys a second dinner. As I place the bowl down in their cage, the protests stopped and the boys began to eat…again! 

I can’t help but laugh at my two silly guinea pigs. They knew the right buttons to push and how to get food out of me. It’s true that you don’t own pets but that pets own you. But there was one unintended consequences of the four meals on Monday… Tuesday morning’s  bean count was through the roof! I had to clean their  cage out three times! I didn’t know it was possible for two guinea pigs to poop that much. What a mess! – KA 


  1. Oh those boys – they have their mom wrapped around their little fingers! As to all the poop they produce… I have always wondered if guinea pig poop could be packaged and sold as house plant fertilizer. Since Fred & Lamont poop so much, you could make some extra money to buy more food for them.

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