I think all of my town’s emergency services just flew past my house light and sirens blazing. What a racket! You would think the noise would bother Fred and Lamont. It doesn’t at all. In fact, they seem to think it’s sexy time when they hear sirens…
I started noticing a change in Fred and Lamont’s behavior after hearing sirens at the old apartment. They would stop, stick their noses in the air, sniff, and pay close attention to the sounds. At first, I thought that they were just being curious guinea pigs. Then I saw that they would begin rumble-strutting around the cage’s perimeter.
Rumble-strutting is a guinea pig’s way of showing off for other guinea pigs. Generally, this is done with a low throaty grumble-burbling noise and the wiggling of the GP’s butt as they slowly parade around the area. The dancing pig will walk past its target multiple times in order to get the intended message across loud and clear. It is used to impress potential mates, show dominance over other guinea pigs, or just to show that a guinea pigs is in heat…
I knew that the boys were not strutting to show dominance over each other…they weren’t even doing it near each other. So, then why were they behaving like that when they heard sirens? The answer came when we moved into the new house… Unfortunately, there was an accident on the local highway near the house one late night. A drunk driver had crashed his car into the barrier between the east and west bound lanes. Multiple emergency vehicles pulled up to the scene with their light and sirens on.
The first siren woke me up. I used the ladies room and then went to the front to make sure it was nothing that I needed to worry about. That’s when I saw it was down a hill on the main road. ‘I hope everyone is okay,’ I thought as I walked back up to the master bedroom. I heard the boys rumble-strutting around. “Dudes,” I sighed, “It’s an accident. The sirens aren’t for you…”
The boys stopped their dancing and listened. I thought their late-night shenanigans were over. Nope. Another siren approached from afar. The boys popcorned and start rumble-strutting with the enthusiasm on a teenager on his first unchaperoned date. It hit me. “Do you two think that’s a female guinea pig calling for sexy time to you two?” I burst out. I got an immediate case of the giggles and flopped on to my bed laughing at my two silly boys.
Sure enough, when the third siren stated, the boys start going crazy. Fred and Lamont were sure that they were going to get lucky tonight. They were popcorning, dancing, and rumble-strutting all over the place. Between shows of machismo, they ran laps. “Boys,” I laughed from the bed, “That doesn’t even sound like a female guinea pig…and I don’t want to know what type of guinea pig makes that type of call…” I belly laughed at the continued noises that emanated from their cage.
My statements did not deter the boys. They were absolutely 100% positive that a sow was calling for them to join her for sexy time. “Come here,” I said scooping up Lamont then Fred. I placed both of them on my lap. Both were breathing heavily from all of the exertion. I petted their backs and sung to them as their breathing started to slow and they both calmed down. When both boys were ready to fall asleep, I put them back into their cage. Fred went to his snug and Lamont to his. I think they were out in record time.
I went back to bed after I put the boys down. Fifteen minutes later my alarm went off. “Nooooooooo…” I cried at it. “Let me sleeeeeepppp…” But it kept telling me that I needed to wake up. I got out of bed and check on the boys. They were both sound asleep. “Must be nice,” I sighed and went to shower.
I was going to be a long day and I was tired. When I got to school, my students asked me, “Why do you look like you didn’t sleep and are really tired.” I stopped and thought really hard about my response. I could tell them that I had to stay up with Fred and Lamont after they tried to get a date with a fire truck. Or, I could tell them that there was an accident. I told the ‘truth’. “I wasn’t feeling well all night and had a difficult time falling asleep. I think I’m coming down with something…” Some times less is more. – KA