Fred and Lamont 2016

Greetings fellow rodent lovers!  My brother and I have decided to run for office.  There has been a lot of poop flinging this election season.  It looks like fun.  We have a lot of extra beans just laying around…  So we have decided to start throwing our beans…as candidates.  We asked for your questions of us as president and vice president candidates.  Here are your questions and our answers.  We hope this will help sway you to vote for us.

Andrea A. – “How will you make every pig-a-loo affordable to live in?”

Fred – “Rodents are very special and deserves the best care.  We will mandate a yearly checkup with the vet.  In addition, every rodent should have the proper size home and right pig-a-loo.  Rodents deserve the best care.  Pet are for life.”

Sue K. –  “Under your leadership, would piggies have veggies added-to or taken-from their daily lives?”

Lamont – “Added.  Veggies are very important part of a rodent’s diet.  However, veggies should be eaten in moderation.  Moderation is the key to all veggie consumption.”

Becca B. – Would wheaking be allowed in the White House?

Fred – “What type of wheaking are we talking about?  There will be no shenanigans in the White House…”

Samanath N – “Due to rising costs of sanitation removal, how do you propose to dispose of the beans?”

Lamont – “We will be encouraging every house hold to start a composting pile.  Rodent beans make great fertilizer for the lawn and garden.”

Jade H. – “Will there be hay in every home?”

Fred – “YES!  Hay is a basic rodent right.  It should be the largest part of our diets.”

Delsa J. – “When will we be able to have our own restaurant like the humans.”

Lamont – “You mean that grocery stores are NOT our restaurants? Whaaaa?”

Fred – “Yes.  We plan to set money aside for small business loans for rodent-business owners.”

Frank Y- “Will you make an effort to have rats, hamsters, capybaras, degus, mice and other rodents in your cabinet?”

Fred – “Yes. Our presidency will treat all rodents equally and with respect.  In fact we hope to install as many rodents in high-level positions as possible…as long as they are qualified.”

Frank Y – “Will you release your taxes?”

Lamont – “Yes.  But is just a bunch of poop…”

Frank Y – “Are there any incriminating videos or emails that might come out?”

Lamont – “Both my brother and I had too much carrot juice to drink that night…. However, that’s the worst of it.  Just too much carrot juice.”

Frank Y – “Do you respect sows?”   

Fred and Lamont – “YES! We love ALL sows…especially the sexy ones…”

Frank Y – “Can you be trusted with the nuclear codes?”

Lamont: “We don’t need the nukes.  We will just drop poop bombs!”

 

Lamont and I hope that this answers some of your questions about our candidacy.  We are not on the ballot.  So, you will have to write us in.  Even if you choose not to vote for us, please vote.  It is your choice and your voice.  Speak loudly!  – Fred and Lamont 2016