Posted by: kerryannekay | August 4, 2016

Checkup Complaints

Hello all.  The boys had a checkup with the vet about two weeks ago. They are both healthy and happy guinea pigs.  I took the opportunity to ask her about some of the shenanigans the boys have been pulling with me…

For example, Lamont enjoys wheeking for food right after I’ve fed him.  I thought, ‘Perhaps he’s not seeing the food!’  The vet checked out his eyes.  They are fine.  She told me, “He’s just a brat…”  I asked her to put that down as an ‘official’ diagnosis.  She declined.

Lamont also likes to run his life and dive for cover for no reason.  I’ll be sitting next to the cage watching television when he does this.  It scares the be-jebus out of me!  I’m not sure if he’s doing it to scare me, scare his brother, or if he’s actually scared.  I asked the vet about this, too.  She told me, “He’s just a wimp…”  She giggled at me when she declined to write THAT in his file.

I moved on to Fred.  I told her that he doesn’t understand that I’m his mom and a human.  He likes to wiggle his butt at me and rumble-strut.  I asked the vet to check his eyes.  I was concerned that he was not seeing me clearly enough to know I was a human being and not a female guinea pig.  She told me, “He just really loves you and wants to show off…”  I asked her to diagnose him as a confused guinea pig.  She explained to me that ‘confused’ was not a ‘real diagnosis’.

Next, I asked about Fred’s but.  I told her that I was concerned that it was quite large for a male guinea pig.  She took a long look at his chart, flipped through several pages, and sighed.  I braced myself for bad news.  “He’s maintaining a healthy and steady weight.  He’s genetically endowed with a large backside…”  I told her that I wanted it noted that he’s got ‘big backside syndrome’.  She giggled at me and sang, “I like big butts and I cannot lie…”

After several seconds, I saw the vet writing down something in both of the boys’ charts.  “What’s that?” I asked.

“I’ve made an official diagnosis…  Both of your guinea pigs have NMS…” she told me.

“NMS?” I gulped.  “What is that? Is it bad?”
“NMS… Nervous Mom Syndrome… They are both happy and healthy and have a great mom…”  she told me.

“Awwww,” I gushed.  “Thank you.”

We said our goodbyes and she told both Fred and Lamont to behave.  Fred and Lamont will go back in for a recheck later this year.  I hope you can tell that I have a great vet.  Sometimes the humans need more care than pets…


Monday, August 1st was Fred and Lamont’s birthdays.  The boys are now three.  Thank goodness they are out of their terrible twos.  I have had to deal with so many shenanigans from those two…

Happy Birthday Fred!             Happy Birthday Lamont!


“The Birthday Boys!”


  1. You do have a great vet. Love what she sang to you haha! And NMS is great.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Fred & Lamont!! I’ll bet you got lots of extra treats from your great Mom!! 🙂

    • Wheee did get extra treats! Thanks for the BD wishes! – F&L

  2. Happy birthday Fred and Lamont!

  3. Happy Birthday Fred and Lamont!🎉

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