Pokémon Pigs

Okay, you’ve caught me playing Pokémon.  I will admit that I have been playing the game since it was released.  There are benefits.  I have been out and about walking a lot more and met a bunch of other players.  There are server issues and so many bugs…

Yesterday, I went to the local pet store.  It’s a Pokémon stop.  I spun the icon and received two eggs.  I thought, ‘AWESOME!’ and immediately put them both into their own incubator to hatch. For those of you not playing the game, you put the eggs into an ‘incubator’ and then walk to hatch them. Most eggs require the player to walk 2 km, 5 km, or 10 km.  The longer you have to walk the more ‘rare’ the creature in the egg.

Well, these two eggs only required me to walk 0.1 km or 100 meters.  I wondered what type of creatures could be in these eggs.  There was no way they could be rare.  Before I left the store both eggs hatched.  I expected something awesome.  This is what I got:

Egg One

Fredasaurus – The Fredasaurs is a lazy grass/earth type Pokémon.  This is the top level of the creature’s evolution.  The Fredasaurs uses it’s ‘stink eye’ to ward off all opponents.  If this defense isn’t effective, the Fredasaurs can use it’s ‘bean cannon’ like a machine gun and destroy its opponents.  Being a grass/earth type Pokémon the Fredasaurs is especially vulnerable to water attacks.  In fact, placing the Fredasaurs in a bath may cause it to run around in circles and act like the water is poison.

Stink Eye: 5 scalding looks

Poop Cannon:  25 beans per second

Fredasaurs Candy:  5 cecotropes

Hay Dust:  3000 units

Warning:  The Fredasaurus requires a high level of maintenance, food input, and cleaning.

Egg Two

Lamontaloo – The Lamontaloo is a lazy grass/earth type Pokémon.  This is the top level of the creature’s evolution.  The Lamontaloo uses it’s ‘sonic scream’ to ward off all opponents.  If this defense is not effective, the Lamontaloo will run using its ‘self-scare’ tactic.  This is where the Lamontaloo runs and hides in fear for no reason at all.  The Lamontaloo can hide for extended periods leaving its opponent confused and bored.  Being a grass/earth type Pokémon the Lamontaloo gets annoyed by water attacks.  In fact, placing the Lamontaloo in a bath will cause it to uncontrollably fire off its sonic scream for extended periods. Each inch of water translates to an extra 100 dB of volume.

Self-Scare:  1 scary look

Sonic Scream:  250 dB

Lamontaloo Candy:  10 cecotropes

Hay Dust:  2000 units

Warning:  The Lamontaloo requires a high level of maintenance, food input, and cleaning.

So, now I have a decision to make…  Do I keep these two Pokémon, raise them, and take care of them?  Or do I send them back to the Professor for retraining?  What do you think? – KA

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