Posted by: kerryannekay | June 30, 2016

Water, MG, and Lies…

This past weekend something in the apartment above me began to leak…though my ceiling.  The lady upstairs was not home.  I called the maintenance hotline and they told me that they were sending someone out.   Half an hour later, someone knocked on my door.

“Maintenance!” he yelled.

I opened the door with a, “Hello!”

“Uhhh,” the maintenance guy (MG) stumbled over his words, “You have a leak?”

“No,” I said opening the door wider, “The lady upstairs has a leak.”  I pointed to the growing wet spot on the ceiling. MG took out a flashlight and pointed the beam at the spot.

“OK,” he declared, “I tell them upstairs…”  He turned and took off like a shot.

“Don’t you…” I said to the back of a man clearly on a mission.  I left the door open and went to check on the bowl I had out to catch the water.  I heard two people walking around in the apartment above me.  The lady upstairs had come home.  I closed my door and sat down to watch television.

…Fast forward ½ hour…

There was another knock at my door.  I walked over to the door and opened to see MG standing in the hallway.  “All fixed?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said shifting back and forth on his feet.

“So,” I said a bit awkwardly, “do you want to come in and look at my ceiling?”

“I saw it before,” he immediately responded.

“Please,” I asked, “just make sure the ceiling isn’t going to fall…”

MG sighed heavily then made an odd request, “You put away your two chupacabra?”

“My what?” I asked.

“Your guy said that you have two chupacabra here… Is it safe to come in?” he asked with true sincerity.

“Oh, Christ!” I burst out and started to laugh hysterically.  MG was not amused and blessed himself multiple times before I could restrain myself. “I…I…” I stammered, “I don’t have any chupacabra here!”  I took in several long breaths to calm myself.  “I have two guinea pigs!”

MG looked at me as if he didn’t know what I was saying.  I repeated it in Spanish, “Tengo dos conejillo de indias!”

“OOOOO!” he said.  His face cleared of fear and he cracked a smile.  “Dos conejillo de indias?!” he half asked and half declared.

I stepped back from the door and let MG see the boys’ cage.  “’Bob’, our normal maintenance guy, told you that I have two chupacabra living here?”

“Yes,” MG stated looking at the boys in their cage, “He is a bad man…”

“I think he was just joking with you…” I tried.  I walked back to the cage and picked up the boys.  “See,” I declared holding two squirmy guinea pigs in my arms, “not chupacabra!”

“Ok,” MG said and walked past me to look at the ceiling.

As I was walking back to the cage Fred chattered his teeth at Lamont.  In response, Lamont let out a huge “WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEK!”

MG jumped, dropped his flashlight, and yelled, “¡Dios mío!”

“It’s ok!” I said, “It’s just the boys! See?”  I put the boys back in their cage.  Clearly MG didn’t truly believe me.  I had to be nice and give him an out.  “So, you’re all done?” I asked.

“Yes!” he said with a sigh of relief.  “You’re ceiling is fine.  Let it dry and ‘Bob’ can fix it when he gets a chance…”

“OK thanks!” I said showing him to the door.  MG gave the boys a fleeting glace.  “The boys’ names are Fred and Lamont.”

“Oh, ok,” he sighed when he was safely out in the hallway.

I bid MG goodnight, closed the door, and locked it behind me.  When heard him leave the building, I burst out in laughter.“I am a horrible human being and I’m going straight to hell…” I told the boys through fits of laughter.  I added, “You have a bad mom!  But, I’m not as bad a ‘Bob’!”

I decided that I had to talk to ‘Bob’ about the tall tales he was telling about my guinea pigs. They were not chupacabra.  That was just an insult to my cute boys!

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