Blogging for Mom

Fred and Lamont have stepped up and written the blog for me. I asked them to discuss something nice.  So, I shared a group document on so they could write something. This is what I got…  I may never let them use the computers again…

 

Fred:  I think my brother is out to get me.  Why?  Well, anytime I’m in my snuggle sack he wants in.  I’m being used as a pre-warmer for my brother.  How unfair is that?  I hate sleeping in a cold sack.  You say, ‘So what? Just refuse to move!’  I’ve done that.  You know what he does?  He walks over me!  Yes, right over me when I’m trying to sleep!  He’s not a lightweight!  I’ll complain and chatter at him but that only draws the scorn of our mother.  And then, the other day, he took it to a whole new level.  He climbed on top of me and then peed on me.  YES!  It was nasty.  I was so mad I ran in circles in our cage.  Then mom saw what had happened.  She gave me a bath.  Not cool, Lamont, not cool at all.

Lamont:  OK, I need to set the record straight.  I don’t steal Fred’s ‘warm’ sack.  I have to go into his sack because he has made a mess in the other one.  I’m not sleeping in Fred’s beans.  That’s gross and mom may give me a bath because of how bad I would smell.  I don’t want a bath.  So, yes, I do walk over him to make him move.  That’s me just giving him a bigger hint because he didn’t get the first one!  And the whole pee thing…  Yea, that happened because Fred kept moving around and tossing his head.  I can’t help it that he hit my bladder!  Then I accidentally peed on him.  It wasn’t my fault.  It was his fault.

Fred:  That’s your excuse?  It was an accident.  And you just happened to hit me right on the head?

Lamont:  YES!  IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Fred:  I may never talk to you again.

Lamont:  You started it.  Stop pooping in my sack!

Fred:  It’s not your sack.  It’s our sack and I can sleep in either sack.

Mom:  I asked the two of you to write something nice so I didn’t have to worry about the blog and this is what I get?

Lamont:  Fred started it.

Fred:  WHAT!?!?

Mom:  Stop it!  Or I’m going to ground the two of you…

Fred: I want to move out.  I want my own cage.

Lamont:  Good.  Leave.  I don’t need you.

Mom:  *sigh* No parties this weekend.

Fred:  What?  That’s so mean.

Lamont:  Yea, what did we do to deserve that?

Fred:  Can you believe her nerve?

Lamont:  I think we should petition for a new mom.

Fred:  Yea.

Mom:  Don’t make this about me.  You two were fighting.

Fred:  You started it.

Lamont:  Yea, mom, you started it.  You’re so mean.

Mom: Whatever…

Fred:  Perhaps if we ignore her, she will go away.

Lamont:  Good idea!

Mom:  It won’t work.

Fred:  This computer thing is cool.

Lamont:  We should get our own.

Mom:  Boys, this isn’t over.

Fred:  Oh, perhaps we should get tables…

Lamont:  I like where you’re going with this…

Mom:  Boys…

Fred:  Then we can each surf the GPweb for sexy sows…

Lamont:  Yea…  Like Tika?

Fred:  TIKA!!!!!

Lamont:  That’s one sexy sow…

Mom:  I give up…

 

The boys’ conversation went on until I took the computers away from them.  They have started a petition to each get their own tablet computers.  That’s never going to happen…unless it’s bean powered…  Don’t let your guinea pigs blog for you.

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