Today we need to have a large, huge, over-sized conversation about Fred’s butt. Yes, this is a butt blog. Fred has a bodacious butt. He likes to eat and it shows in the size of his gluteus-maximus. Fred’s rump is often decorated with poop. Yeah, I said poop.
After a good bean session, Fred usually doesn’t fully ‘clear’ the last bean. It will sit there half hanging out of his backside. It looks like he has this little dark brown tail. The worse part? The poop tail will wag as his hairy butt cheeks move as he walks. The first time I saw this, I busted out laughing. I couldn’t let him just walk around like that…
“Come here!” I called to Fred as I reached for him, “I can’t let you walk around like that…” Of course Fred bolted. The little poop tail wagged furiously behind him as he ran off to security. I burst out laughing. I had to lay down next to the boys cage and recover from my outburst.
My presence next to the cage attracted both boys. They came over to see me and sniffed around for snacks. “Hey, guys,” I cooed at them. I reached over and started scratching Lamont’s nose. After several moments, I turned my attention to Fred. He stood still for several nose scratches and then started to turn so I could scratch down his side. As he turned, Fred’s new butt appendage came into view. I burst out laughing.
Fred bolted shooting the bean out of the cage. Lamont panicked and quickly chased after Fred. I was left lying on the floor with a single bean in front of me. The ironic nature of the situation was not lost on me. So, I took the appropriate action…I started laughing harder.
There have been several times when Fred has walked around with a bean hanging out of his butt. At first, I thought that he was losing control of his sphincter muscle. This can happen to older male guinea pigs (especially those that are not neutered). But, when I checked him out, he was completely clearing and not retaining any poop.
I talked to the vet about Fred’s lingering poop habit. She checked out Fred and confirmed he was fine. Her diagnosis: “He is a male guinea pig and is just…dirty…” I was happy to hear that he was completely fine. Nevertheless, his little ‘habit’ is awesome for a good laugh. So, I say, “Poop on, Dude!”