This is Fred… And Lamont… We would like to share some of our demands for the New Year:
First we demand to renegotiate our contract with our mom. She has been barely keeping us alive. We need to be fed more than twice a day. There needs to be an increase in the amount of food and the variety of food we get…at least four times a day. We usually only get feed timothy hay. We will admit that it is our favorite. However, where is the variety? There should be at least four varieties of hay at all times.
Next, we need new snuggly sacks. Ours are over a year old. They are warm but no longer fashionable. It’s embarrassing trying to entertain the lady guinea pigs with last year’s sack designs. How are we supposed to maintain our reputation?
Finally, we would like to expand our cage footprint by at least three square feet. Our current space does not allow for each of us to have our own area. We are two healthy young boars with active lives. We don’t like having to hang a sock on the door to signal that we are ‘busy’ to each other… To make matters worse, we have to SHARE a bathroom. How disgraceful. Have you seen how messy two boars can be?
So, now that you have read our reasonable demands to our mother, we know that you will support us. Please comment with enthusiasm and vigor below. Thank you for your support.
– Fred and Lamont
P.S. – As per our social schedule, blogs have been moved to Wednesdays. Thank you.