Fred and Lamont have figured out a new way to torture me…
I decided to lie down and take a nap on Sunday after lunch. As I drifted off, I heard an odd noise, “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiipppp…” I figured it was the boys bothering each other. “Cut it out,” I sighed. As I rolled over, the noise came again, “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiipppp…” I sighed and spoke louder, “Seriously?” And to make my point, “I’m napping over here!”
My admonishment seemed to work. I pulled the covers over my head and was met with sweet…. “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiipppp” …almost silence. “That’s it!” I said, threw back the covers, and got out of bed. I heard both boys run for their snuggly sacks. They knew they were in trouble.
I walked to Fred and Lamont’s cage. Both boys began to chatter their teeth at me from inside their sacks. “That’s how I feel right now…” I scowled. “Ok,” I asked two chattering guinea pigs, “Who has learned to make a new noise and annoy me?” Silence. “Uhhh-huuuu,” I sighed suspiciously. Beans shot out of one of the sacks. “Nice, Fred…glad to know you’re on my side.”
I turned and took four steps towards my bed. The “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiippp” returned. “Damn,” I whispered. I turned and tiptoed over to the cage. Fred was admiring a fresh pile of beans. Lamont was sitting next to the hay bin chewing on a long piece of hay. He tilted his head and looked at me like I was an idiot. “What?” I asked him. “Is that noise you?” Lamont chewed on hay.“Fred?” I asked, “Is that you?” Fred turned and aligned his caboose with the pile he had started. I giggled as he skillfully added to it. “Oh, Fred, you are truly a bean artist…” Lamont continued to stare at me while working on a piece of hay. When he finished the current piece, he reached out and grabbed a piece of hay near the bottom of the rack. As he pulled it through to his side of the cage, the noise came again, “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiipppp”.
“LAMONT!” I announced a bit too loud. The boys ran for cover. Lamont dropped the hay and ran. Fred plowed through his fresh pile of beans and dove for his sack. Fred’s bean art pile scattered everywhere. I sat down next to the cage and apologized to two chattering sacks, “I’m sorry boys.” I bent over to the side of the cage to see if I could fix the noise issue. As the boys were pulling out the hay, it was rubbing against the nylon cloth cage liner.
“Yeup,” I declared, “I can fix this…” I got up and cut a piece of cardboard to place between the cage and the hay hanger. It was a bit large but it fit just well enough. “There!” I told the boys, “Now you two can’t make that annoying “Thrips” noise. Satisfied with my work, I returned to bed for my long overdue nap.
I heard another new noise as I drifted off. It was a muted metallic banging noise and paper tearing. “Oh, no,” I sighed immediately knowing what it was. I got out of bed, again. I walked over to the boys’ cage, again. My suspicions were confirmed. Both boys were tugging at the cardboard trying to pull it free.
“Really?” I asked the boys. “You two are too lazy to go to the other side of the cage to eat hay? You have to have 360º and 24 hour access?” Fred and Lamont ignored me. “Here,” I said and removed the barricade. Both boys popcorned with joy. “You’re welcome,” I yawned. “I’m going to nap now…”
For the third time I laid down to take a nap. And for the third time I began to drift off. The noise came again, “Thhhhwwwwwiiiiiiippp…” “Oh,” I yawned, “I give up… You two win…again…” I turned over and pulled the blankets over my head to drown out the noise.