Posted by: kerryannekay | August 28, 2015

“The Song of Our People”

I may die a slow and painful death tonight at the hands of my two guinea pigs.  Wait.  Let me rephrase that…  I may die a slow and painful death tonight at the lungs and vocal cords of my two guinea pigs.  Yes, Fred and Lamont have decided to sing me “the song of their people” all night long.  They are out of tune, out of time, off key, and slurring their words.  I’ve checked the water bottles three times throughout the night to ensure they are not loaded with carrot juice.  I’ve also sniffed and sampled their water to make sure it wasn’t vodka.  Alas, it’s just water. This latest episode of the “sing along” started at 11:00 pm:

(I speak guinea pig and have translated their singing for you….)


11:00 pm

Fred:  “Mmmmbrrrrnnnnrrrnnn, our people live!”

Lamont:  “Amen, my brother! OOOOOOOOOOO”

Fred:  “Grrrrruuuuuuummmm, our people are strong!”

Lamont:  “Ooooo-wooooo-oooooo!”

Me:  “BOYS!  Cut it out!”

Fred:  “We will siiiiiiinnnnngggggg for our people!”

Lamont:  “You said it! OOOOOOO…”

*I get up out of bed and turn on the light and walk over to the cage*

Me: “I’m trying to sleep.  Could you two keep it down?”

Fred:  *sings in a low voice*  “Our voices will be heard…”

Lamont:  *snickers and then in a low voice*  “We’ll try to keep it down…”


2:30 am

Fred:  *at the top of his lungs*  “We have survived!  O-O-O-O-O!”

Lamont:  “And we will thrive! Brrrrrrump!”

*I wake and up wonder how long the noise has been going on*

Fred:  “I shake my tail for all my sows…”

Lamont:  “Cause we won’t date any cows!  O-O-Oooooo!”

Me:  “BOYS!”

Fred:  “What?!?”

Me:  “Keep it down before I come over there!”

Lamont:  *chatters teeth*  “We’re not afraid!”

Me:  *turn on light*

Fred:  “HIDE!”

Lamont:  “Wait for me!”

Me:  *I turn off light and goes back to sleep*


5:22 am

Lamont:  “I’m bringing sexy pig back…”

Fred:  “’Cause you don’t know how to act…”

*I roll over in bed and wake up*

Me:  *to self*  “I swear these two are doing this on purpose…”

Fred:  “All you sow better watch your back…”

Lamont:  “’Cause I’m bringing sexy pig back…”

Me:  *turns on light, gets out of bed, and walks over to the boys’ cage*

Me:  “What are you two doing?”

Fred:  *pulling head out of hay bag*  “Huh?”

Lamont:  *stretching in pig hut*  “Getting woken up by your light.”  *yawn*

Me:  “And why do you think I’m up?”

Fred:  “Food?”

Lamont:  “Dunno…”

Me: “You two were singing at the top of your lungs…”

Fred:  “Nooooo…”

Me: “Yes!  And I believe that was a modified version of ‘I’m bringing sexy back’…”

Lamont:  *popcorns* “Did you like it?!?”

Me:  “NO!  It woke me up!”

Lamont:  “Soooo, are you up to feed us?”

Me: “No!  Stop singing and go back to bed!”

Fred:  “Fine, party pooper.”

Me:  *I go back to bed and turn off light*


5:30 am

Alarm:  *2 minutes later* *BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

Me:  *I roll over in bed and groan*



Me:  “These guinea pigs are going to be my death…”


So, at 5:30 am I got up to start my day.  I didn’t have a good night’s rest.  Unfortunately, the boys had to be fed, the kids had to be taught, and I had to go around tired.  As I prepared the boys’ food, I decided to have a long conversation with them about their all night tirades.  I walked with their food back to the cage.  The sight shocked me.  Both Fred and Lamont were sound asleep…  “Of course…” I sighed.



  1. My Barley is such a quiet little guy I wish he was a bit more vocal. He doesn’t even tell me when he really doesn’t have any food in his bowl! I never will forget the night I woke up to loud chirping when I had 4 I think it was Mama Christie who was chirping but never really knew for sure. Tell the boys Barley said if they find his jingle ball they can keep it because they throw such good parties.

    • My first GP was very quiet. I loved him for that. He was much more gentle and snuggles than these two. So, each has its virtues. – KA

  2. Oh those crazy boys! Maybe they could record a CD and you could sell it to other piggies!

  3. My piggies like to sing “It’s nom or never”.

    • I think they all sing that. -KA

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