This past weekend the boys and I visited my parents’ house. Yes, that’s a story of its own for later… The boys started bickering at my parents’ house. It is something that they rarely do. However, when they do it, it quickly frustrates me.
On Sunday, they started bickering about six in the morning. I was sleeping…trying to sleep… They got so loud I thought the whole house could hear it. “Boys!” I whispered loudly from my bed, “Shhhhh! You’re going to wake up the whole house!” Fred chattered his teeth at me. “I heard that Fred,” I admonished him. My rebuff was met by sweet silence.
Five minutes later I was drifting off to another cacophony of rumbles, wheeks, and whines. I rolled over, “Stop it!” I said louder. The warning didn’t work. I got out of bed to deal with the boys personally. “What is your problem?” I yawned as I kneeled at the boys’ cage. Both of them looked at me like I was crazy. “Don’t you both give me that look!” I hissed. “What is your problem?” I asked again. Looking down, I noticed that their food bowl was empty. “You guys need food?” I tried. Lamont popcorned. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” I said picking up the bowl.
I headed off to the kitchen to make the boys’ breakfast. My dad greeted me, “I thought you were going to sleep in…” he said through a sip of coffee.
“The boys had other ideas…mainly breakfast…” I yawned. I opened the fridge and started to prepare their breakfast.
“You want me to make you some breakfast?” my dad asked.
“No,” I hissed, “I’m going back to bed after I feed Fred and Lamont.”
“Yea, sure,” he laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“Each time they start the morning off like this, they never let you sleep,” he pointed out.
“Yea,” I yawed again as I put the greens and veggies back in the fridge, “they will let me go back to sleep. They are good boys…”
“Right,” my dad called as I walked back to my room, “I’ll make you pancakes…”
As I walked into the room, the boys were bickering, chattering their teeth, whining, and wheeking at each other again. “Oh,” I called, “cut it out…now…” They stopped at the sound of my voice and ran to where the dish would be placed. As I put it down, the boys stormed the dish and began to inhale the food. “Good night,” I said and went back to bed.
Ten minutes later, I was drifting off back to sleep. The surge of gluttony must have been over for the boys. I was jolted out of my drifting by Lamont letting out one of the loudest whine-wheeks I’ve ever heard. I sat bolt upright in bed with a, “What?” I turned to see Fred chasing Lamont around their cage.
“Seriously?” I asked. “Cut it out!” I demanded of both of them. They seemed to stop when I was near the cage. I was desperate for sleep. So, in desperation, I grabbed my pillow and blanket and lay down next to their cage facing it. Fred and Lamont walked over to the side of the cage and started sniffing at me. I didn’t care. Sniffing was quieter than bickering. I quickly drifted off to sleep.
One hour later I awoke to something scratching at my nose. “Alfalfa,” I moaned, “cut it out…” I felt a pair of teeth attempt to bite off my nose. “Ouch!” yelled instantly waking up and grabbing my nose. When I opened my eyes, I saw Lamont standing there nose to nose with me. He opened his mouth to bite me again. “No!” I said grabbing him. “Why are you biting me?” I asked. Then realized, “Why are you out of the cage?!?”
Fred chattered his teeth at me. “I didn’t ask you,” I said as I placed Lamont back in the cage. Lamont chattered his teeth at me and took off for his cozy. “Yeah,” I called back, “same to you too, buddy!” I looked down at my hand and saw that there was blood on it. I got up and secured the boys’ cage. I went to the bathroom to inspect the damage.
In the bathroom, I found two small bite marks on my nose. Lamont had gotten me twice. I cleaned my nose and went out to get breakfast. “Right on time,” my dad said as he placed another pancake on a plate.
“Hmmm,” I moaned and sat down in my usual spot.
“You want bacon?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I yawned, “extra bacon… I need it this morning…”
“Have you seen your nose?” he asked me barely containing a giggle.
“Yes,” I hissed.
“I thought only Alfalfa did that,” he giggled.
“Apparently his ghost still lives on… and has taken up residence in Lamont…” I said between bites of pancakes.
“Mont?” my dad asked in shock.
“Yes,” I sighed, “my little Lamont has gone over to the dark side…”
My mom heard my last statement as she walked into the kitchen. “What did you do to my four-legged grandson?” she asked me.
My dad coughed, “Look at her nose…”
“Oh, Mont,” my mom sighed and then started giggling at me.
“Lovely,” I said stuffing another huge bite of pancake in my mouth to prevent me from saying anything else.
My sister walked in with her baby and sat down in her usual seat. She took one look at me and burst out laughing.
“Shut up!” I said.
“No, you shut up,” she shot back ready to fight.
“Ladies,” my dad interrupted, “the bacon is ready.” He placed a large plate of freshly cooked bacon in front of us. The two line argument was over. We both dived for the plate of bacon.
We are now home and Lamont is back to normal. I like the shy and cuddly Lamont. Hopefully, this weekend’s incident was just an anomaly…hopefully… More tales from the grandparents’ house next week…