Dirty Boars

Keeping the cage of two male guinea pigs clean is a challenge…and that’s putting it mildly.  I wash and clean the boys fleece, cozy, towels, and other items each Saturday.  When that’s going on, I wipe and steam clean their area.  (Yes, I bought a steam cleaner specifically for them.)  Once all of the laundry is done, the entire cage must be put back just right.  If that’s not done, the boys tend to rearrange everything everywhere.

You would think that would keep the boys clean.  But, no…  I have to vacuum and out their area each evening.  I shake out and clean up the hay off of their towel. Finally, each Tuesday I flip their fleeces to make sure the fleece is never too dirty for them.  After all of that, you’d hope that Fred and Lamont would help keep their area clean.  Nope.  The boys have developed two games they like to play in order to make my cleaning life as challenging as possible.  I like to call these two games:  “Hay Bomb” and “Bean Fling”.

I have started giving the boys compressed hay disks.  These cut down on the dust from hay.  They are supposed to be neater for all parties involved.  However, my boys have figured out how to pull the hay out of the holder area and drag it all over their area.  I can see the ‘hay trail’ that is left behind.  When I follow the trail to its end, I can see the “Hay Bomb” the boys have managed to set off.  Generally there is a two to three foot radius of hay shrapnel.

What is worse, many times Fred and Lamont often manage to split up the bay disks.  Then, I have several areas of hay bomb damage.  I think they manage to scatter more hay then they eat.  No wonder they are eating me out of house and home.  Most of my money is being dust-busted up on a daily basis.

The other game the boys like to play is “Bean Fling”.  And yes, as the name implies, this game is about getting beans in the most odd and obscure places possible.  I have found beans in my pockets, shoes, and even in my purse.  How do these beans get there?  I didn’t put them there.

So, my theory is that Fred and Lamont are flinging their beans.  They must have assigned the targets point values.  My purse = +10 points, my pocket = +50 points, my shoes = +5 points, in the hallway = +2 points per bean, in the bathroom toilet = +100 points, and in my car = + 15 points.  There is no other logical explanation for how I find beans everywhere.

So, in addition to 40 hours of work, 4 hours of math class, 10+ hours of homework, 10+ hours of grading, and cleaning my house, I have to clean up the mess my boys manage to make each day.  Heaven forbid I’m late getting home.  When that happens, the boys will spread their pellets everywhere and then pee on them.  This makes a nasty, mushy, smelly mess…I don’t want to clean that up in addition to my normal cleaning routine.  I always have to rush home to prevent a bigger mess.

Yes, I am a slave to my guinea pigs.