It’s Tuesday. I’ve managed to survive the “No Snow Blizzard”. As you can tell from the name, we didn’t get more than a dusting. I’m watching TV and drooling over the snow up in the New England area. The poor reporters on the weather station are complaining that Dunkin Doughnuts is closed. That would be the worst case scenario for me… no coffee, no lattes, no toasted bagels… I would die sitting outside of the store waiting for it to open. I would be like a guinea pig down to his last pellet… Just like what Fred and Lamont pulled with me on Sunday night…
I love both of my boys. Fred walks around purring when he’s happy. Lamont is usually silent. However, when Lamont isn’t happy or wants something he whines. He has mastered the annoying whine. It sounds like, “weeeekrrrrrrreeeeeerrrrk”. Sound that out loud in a nasally, high-pitched tone. That’s Lamont in a mood and letting me know it.
Fred and Lamont woke me up with a cacophony of whines and purrs on Sunday night at about 11 pm. “Boys,” I called from my bed, “go to bed…” The noises subsided and I rolled over to go back to bed. Lamont began to whine five minutes later. “mrrrrrrrwhhhhhheeeeeeeek…” he yelled. Fred decided to join in, “Wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek…” I heard.
“BOYS!” I called louder than before. The noise stopped. “Go-to-bed…NOW!” I called again. Fred purred. “Fred…” I warned the pitch black house, “You and your brother need to go to bed… Be a good boy… Lamont, go to bed, too…” My commands were met with silence. ‘Good,’ I thought, ‘They are going to settle down and go to sleep…’ I drifted off.
At about 1 am Monday morning I was awakened by the boys yelling again. “Wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek…” Fred’s voice drifted into my head pulling me out of a dream. “Ohhhhhh,” I moaned from my bed. Then I heard Lamont add his two cents, “mrrrrrrrwwwhhheeeekeeeekeeeerrreeeeek”. “Seriously?” I asked the darkened house. I was going to have to get up.
As I got up and walked over to the bathroom, I heard both boys start to run zoomies. They were excited that I was up. I did my business in the bathroom and turned on the light in the living room area. Both boys stopped in their tracks and start to dance for me. “Ok,” I yawned, “I’m up… What’s the problem?” Fred ran into the cage. Lamont followed him. I looked to see what they wanted. Hay? Full. Pellets? One bowl full. Greens? Still some left. Water? Both bottles full.
I turned to the boys, “I don’t know what you two want?” I looked around again. “Ok,” I sighed, “I’ll give you two a snack…” I got some romaine lettuce from the fridge and put it in their cage. Both boys started munching on the treat. I turned off the light and went back to bed. I drifted off to happy chewing noise from both my happy, quiet, boys…
I think it took the boys ten minutes to eat their lettuce snack. I was just starting to drift off when the boys started up again. Fred yelled, “Wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek, wheek…” When Fred took a break, Lamont took up the cause and yelled, “mrrrrrrrwwwhhheeeekeeeekeeeerrreeeeek…” “OY!” I called from the bed as I threw back the covers. “Someone better be dead!” I called as I clicked on the light.
I walked over to the boys’ cage. Both were standing next to each other staring up at me. It was obvious that they were in a state of high anticipation. “WHAT?” I asked with a lot of sarcasm in my voice. “I need to sleep… What-do-you-two-want?” I enunciated to make sure they totally understood what I was saying. Both boys stood there staring back at me. I sighed.
It was too late to be dealing with two crazy guinea pigs. I decided to refresh all of the boys’ food. I gave them more hay. No reaction. I refreshed their greens. No reaction. I refilled their water bottles. No reaction. Finally, I refilled the one dish pellet dish and filled the other pellet dish. As I stood up, both boys ran to their own pellet dish.
“That’s it?!?” I half yelled half gasped. “You two didn’t want to share a pellet dish?” The boys didn’t respond. They greedily ate from their fresh pellets. I couldn’t believe it. “You two woke me up a million times tonight over an empty pellet dish? You woke me up because you’re too spoiled to share ONE dish? Seriously?” I couldn’t believe my tired eyes. “I’m going back to bed…” I yawned.
I turned off the light and got back into bed. I fell asleep to two happy guinea pigs munching on pellets from their own pellet dishes. The next day at school my students asked me why I was tired. My response, “I have two spoiled guinea pigs that don’t know how to share…” And then I added, “I wouldn’t have it any other way…”