Posted by: kerryannekay | March 6, 2014

Sock Monster

We all have bad habits.  Some people leave the toilet seat up.  Others don’t put their laundry in the basket.  Still others just don’t clean their rooms.  Regardless, we all do little things that drive others crazy.  I am no exception to this and neither is Alfalfa.  But there are some habits that form because of another person’s habit.

I have a bad habit of taking off my socks where I am sitting and putting leaving them there.  It’s not that I want to leave my socks behind, it just happens.  Really!  I’ll sit on the couch, take my socks off, and leave them here on the floor in front of the couch.  That is how Alfalfa wound up with one of my socks as his girlfriend.  He helped himself to my sock then helped himself to my sock…

"What?  They do taste good..." - A

“What? They do taste good…” – A

I also do this in bed.  What?!?  My feet get hot and I need to cool them off.  So, I put my feet outside of my covers, use my toes to pull off each sock, and drop them on the floor.  Yes, I don’t bother to get up and put them into the hamper.  Who would?  It’s been cold.  And I’ve been tired.  And who wants to get out of bed for a pair of socks?  Those are famous last words.

Alfalfa has figured out that I leave my socks all over the place.  He takes them and makes a nest out of my socks under the bed.  At first this was a welcome thing.  I would leave my socks out, Alfalfa would take them, and I would find them several days later in a nice pile under the bed.  Alfalfa was performing a service, he was being a good boy, he was acting like a small maid for me.  Then he decided to take the whole too far…

Alfalfa started making my socks his girlfriends…literally.  He would little love presents behind on the socks.  I tolerated this for a while before ‘assigning’ Alfalfa a sock I nicknamed “Rags”.  He was happy with his new girlfriend-sock.  But then he wanted more.  Alfalfa began taking my other socks and nesting with them.  He created a small ‘love nest’ under the bed with all of my socks he’d find around the house.

So, I figured that Alfalfa wanted a softer area under the bed to lie on.  I got him a bunch of comfy fleece and put it in his usual love nest area.  He seemed happy with the fleece and Rags for a bit.  Unfortunately, he got greedy with the whole thing.  Alfalfa began taking more socks and building up the nest again.  I was fortunate that he preferred the company of Rags over my other socks.  Oh, but that’s not the end of it…

On wash day, I would gather up all of my socks from Alfalfa’s nest and wash them.  Most of the socks were coming out with small holes in them.  This happened for several weeks.  I figured I needed to stop buying cheap socks.  So, I got the ‘good’ socks.  These socks were top of the line, comfortable, and make of high quality materials.  It stood to reason that these socks would stand up to the obvious abuse of the washer machine.  Nope.  The socks still had holes in them.  I wound up putting my foot through the ones without holes.

I was dumbfounded.  What the heck was going on?  Did I have a foot problem?  Were my shoes poking holes in my socks?  Did the washer machine have a set of teeth?  Was I just going crazy?  It sure felt like it.  Then one day I figured out what was going on. Yes, you guessed it:  Alfalfa.

As I was cleaning up several weeks ago, I saw Alfalfa scoot under the bed.  The bed skirt ruffed as he ran along the side of the bed to his sleeping area.  I lifted the bed skirt to see him snuggled into the fleece and sock nest he had created for the week.  “Ok, dude,” I announced while tucking the bed skirt between the mattresses, “cleaning time!”  Alfalfa huffed at me.  “Listen, it’s going to happen…deal with it…”

I reached in to Alfalfa’s area and started grabbing for socks.  Alfalfa snapped at me.  “Watch it, vamp pig!” I admonished him.  As I grabbed for another sock, he snapped again but grabbed the sock instead.  “Dude!” I said, “Cut it out…”  I pulled a bit more and he tugged back.  “Oh, so now you’re a dog?” I asked.  I leaned down and blew a quick puff of air on his nose.  It was enough to make him release the sock.  I looked down and inspected the sock.  There was a hole in it.  “WHAT?” I yelled and Alfalfa bolted.

"Not me!" - A

“Not me!” – A

I started grabbing socks and inspecting each one.  Many of my socks had small holes in them.  Alfalfa had been chewing on MY socks putting holes in MY socks.  “Alfalfa, pig,” I called from where I was sitting.  He stuck his head out from under the bed skirt.  “Yes, you pig,” I said, “You have been chewing holes in my socks, haven’t you?” I held one up with a particularly large hole to show him the damage.  Alfalfa huffed at me.  “Oh, don’t start,” I sighed, “I should have known it was you all the time.  What possessed you to chew holes in MY socks?”  In response Alfalfa chattered his teeth at me.  “Whatever,” said turning back to gathering my socks…my hole-y socks.

That day alone I had to throw out six pairs of socks.  To make matters worse, I have lost more socks over the past six months than I can count.  You would think that I would have learned my lesson and just pick up my socks.  But no, I still leave my socks all over the place.  Alfalfa kidnaps my socks and has his way with them.  I have to go out and buy some new ones this weekend, again…  Oh, pig…

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Responses

  1. Furry, adorable, determined sock monster!


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