I live in north-eastern Maryland. This area is not supposed to be a winter wonderland. However, this past year it has been a winter nightmare-land. I feel like I’ve been home more than in school the past two months. I have accepted the fact that this school year will never be over…ever. As I sit here and write, it has started to snow, again. We are supposed to get a foot of snow this time. It’s hopeless. *twitch*
On the other hand, my apartment is extraordinarily clean. I have rearranged the clothes closet…twice. I’ve cleaned out my dresser draws and refolded all of the clothes. My kitchen cabinets are all properly organized. All of my canned goods are in rows and in alphabetical order. I’ve got enough frozen meal leftovers to last till next winter. The rug is going bare from excessive vacuuming. Did I mention that I have polished all of my jewelry? Oh, and I’ve wiped down the walls and most of the ceiling? Like I said, the apartment is spotless. *twitch*
My mental health? Not so much. I have tried to stay sane during my snow induced incarceration. I have read four books. I have watched all seven seasons of Dr Who. I have typed lesson plans and revised them again, and again, and again, and again… I have cleaned the house. Oh, wait, I’ve already mentioned that. But the biggest problem with being home so much lately is Alfalfa. I think he’s out to get me. *twitch, twitch*
Last week I just cleaned and vacuumed the house for the second time that day. So, the entire house was spotless. I put the vacuum cleaner away and walked back to the living room. *squish* As soon as I felt it I knew what I has stepped on. I sat down on the floor and looked at the bottom of my right foot. I saw one of Alfalfa’s fresh beans stuck to my foot. On queue Alfalfa cam trotting out from under bed and up to me. “Is this yours?” I asked him. Alfalfa huffed at me. “Yeah, I figured,” I sighed and picked the bean off of the bottom of my foot. As I got up, I admonished him, “Use your pan…not the floor. You know better.” Alfalfa sniffed at me and walked off. *twitch*
Five minutes later I was walking over to the bedroom… *squish* “AUGHHHH! Alfalfa!” I yelled. Alfalfa popped his head out from under the bed. “Dude,” I said hopping over to the bed on one foot and sat down, “You’ve got to stop this. I understand the errant bean, but come on…” *twitch* I picked the flattened fresh bean off my left foot and got up. I turned to say something but saw nothing but a retreating guinea pig butt. All I could do was sigh and throw out the bean.
Ten minutes later it was time to start dinner. As I was walking to the kitchen it happened again! *squish* “Oh, crap!” I yelled and began to hop on my right as if I had stepped on a nail with the other. As I was hopping over to the bed, I felt it again under my right foot. *squish* *twitch* Something between a yell and a scream escaped from my mouth mixed in with a made up curse words. “Aruhshisssissdamnissssss…” came out as my legs bucked and I sat down hard. I was down…taken out by a guinea pig.
I sat and picked off Alfalfa’s beans from my feet. He came trotting out from under the bed. “Oh,” I said sarcastically, “Come to inspect your work? To see if your trap has been sprung? To see if you’ve taken down the giant? Huh?” Alfalfa sniffed at me and began to sniff at the toes on my right foot. “Don’t even think about it,” I chided him as he sniffed. I saw him slowly reach out to bit one of my toes. *twitch, twitch* “Ha!” I said pulling my foot away just in time. I jumped up and yelled, “Foiled! I’m too fast for you! Like a ninja! Booooo-yaaaa!” My reaction was a bit too much for Alfalfa and he ran in terror from me.
Unfortunately, in my excitement, I threw the beans as I got up. Perhaps it was it was small over reaction. I still have no idea where they went. For all I know, I’m sleeping with Alfalfa’s beans each night. Which on the scale of 1 to crazy is somewhere in the middle. After all I have prayed over them…
Alfalfa pulled that bean trick with me four more times that day. He was out to get me. He was out to make me crazy…I think it’s working… *twitch* Or it could be cabin fever setting in… *twitch* It could be the snow… *twitch* I think I need to clean something again. *twitch, twitch, twitch*
Alfalfa’s Adventures has been nominated for an award at Blog Paws. The site can be found here: http://blogpaws.com/. Once voting has opened up, I’ll let you know so we can stuff the ballot box. As always, thanks for your support.
– Kerry Anne and Alfalfa