When I got home the other week, there was an “I visited” slip on my desk from the Maintenance Guy (MG). I like to think of them as “love notes” from MG. No, I don’t mean it like that… He’s a nice family man. I mean that I “love” the fact that he has visited and there is fixed or new in the house. I read the note and saw that he was checking on my air-conditioner. ‘Oh, good,’ I thought. I heard a noise at my feet and saw Alfalfa doing a bit of the “feed me” dance.
“Were you a good boy today?” I asked knowing the answer was most likely “NO”. “You want dinner,” I teased as I walked over to the refrigerator. I got out Alfalfa greens and veggies to make his meal. He squeaked and danced a bit as I made his dinner. When I finally placed his bowl on the floor, I heard him let out a small sigh. “Silly boy…” I giggled.
I left the house to go and talk to MG regarding the ‘problems’ that Alfalfa had caused for him. As I walked up the stairs I found myself giggling with anticipation. After all, Alfalfa could be counted on to misbehave on a regular basis.
I found MG about five minutes after I left the house. I must have been smiling from ear to ear when I walked up because I was greeted with, “Oh, here’s mom… She’s looking for a report on her bad boy?”
“Yeup,” I giggled and shook his hand when he offered it.
“SO,” I said with a bit of anticipation, “How bad was Alfalfa? What did he do? Give me the full report…”
“Nada…” he said.
“What!?” I exhaled, “What? What do you mean by nothing?”
“He came out saw me, sniffed at me, and then went back under the bed…” MG said plainly.
“Oh, no,” I gasped, “Poor Alfalfa’s reputation…”
“His reputation?” MG asked.
“Yeah,” I sighed, “He has a reputation to maintain… What am I going to do now?”
“Well, you could tell your readers he was well behaved,” MG suggested.
“Never!” I gasped as if something had just struck me in my chest. “Never,” I whispered. There was a heavy silence in the air. I think both of us were shocked at the situation.
“Got, it!” I exclaimed.
“Ok,” MG said.
“How about you go back into the apartment and try again… Perhaps Alfalfa will do something funny and then we can just forget about the well-behaved incident…” I asked with a bit of desperation.
“What?” MG asked with a bit of shock on his face.
“Yeah,” I with a bit more desperation, “You could dangle a toe in his face… he’ll take that bait.”
“What?” MG asked.
“His bites don’t hurt much…” I pleaded.
“Kerry Anne,” MG said with an authority in his voice.
“Yes, MG,” I said cowering a bit to his tone.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to go back into your apartment, take off my shoes, take off my socks, and then dangle my foot in Alfalfa’s face so he can bite me?”
“Yeah,” I said a bit sheepishly realizing the ridiculous nature of my request.
“Then,” MG continued, “You want to write a blog about how ‘bad’ your guinea pig was when I went into your apartment?”
“Well,” I said, “It did sound better when it came to mind…”
“Not going to happen,” MG said plainly.
“Crap,” I said. “How am I going to explain to people that Alfalfa was good for you?”
“Omit it,” MG suggested.
“Can’t,” I sighed, “Everyone knew that you were visiting today.”
“I’ve got to get back to work,” MG stated, “Have a good day.”
“You too,” I responded and turned to walk back to my apartment. I lamented on my path back. ‘How am I going to explain this to people?’ I thought. When I got to the door, I heard Alfalfa wheeking behind it. I keyed open the door and Alfalfa bolted into the hallway.
“PIG!” I exclaimed out of fright and surprise. Alfalfa began to run in circles between my apartment door and the Holly Lady’s door. “Get your rear in here!” I admonished Alfalfa. No luck. Alfalfa continued his zoomies. “Alfalfa,” I pleaded, “Come in here and be a good boy…” Alfalfa paused long enough to let several beans rip and then continued to be a mad-man. “GET INTO THE HOUSE!” I scolded him again. Alfalfa was refusing to come back into the house. He had decided to misbehave…not for MG…for me.
The lobby door opened and MG walked in. “Oh,” he said with a chuckle in his voice, “I see Alfalfa is in the hall again.”
“Yeah,” I said with no amusement.
“He’s doing something bad now…” MG pointed out.
“Yeah,” I said again.
“Write about this…” MG said. He turned and walked out of the lobby.
“Touché…” I said.