Tuesday arrived and I was forced to get up way too early for a summer day. My alarm went off and so did Alfalfa. To him the alarm means: “Mom’s up. I’m getting food. I need to let her know how much I want to be feed.” Then the ‘I’m going to die of starvation’ noise starts. I hit the snooze button on the alarm and the beeping stopped. But, of course, Alfalfa did not. I heard him dancing next to the bed in anticipation of being fed.
“Oh, geeze,” I said to the celling, “how the hell did I make an appointment for this early? There has to be a mistake…there is no way I made an appointment…voluntarily this early…no way.” Alfalfa’s wheeking got more anxious. “Ok,” I called from the bed, “I’m up…” I hauled myself out of bed and walked over to the refrigerator.
Half awake, I grabbed the box of salad mix for Alfalfa and walked over to his bowl. Empty. “Dude?” I asked, “How did you eat all of that food?” Alfalfa huffed and me and did a bit of a popcorn and happy dance. “Ok,” I said grabbing a handful of salad and placing it in the bowl. It overflowed the bowl. It was a super-sized portion. Alfalfa looked up at me as if to say, ‘Really? All for me?’ He didn’t ask twice and dove in. I put the salad down and went to the bathroom to prepare. I showered and dressed and prepared for my appointment.
At 8:02 am the doorbell rang and again, Alfalfa went off. “WHEEEK,WHEEK, WHEEK,” he yelled. “Yeah,” I called from the bathroom, “I heard it…” Alfalfa continued unfazed by my admonishment. I answered the door and it was the cable guy.
“Hello, I’m *name* from *name* Company. I have an appointment on this address,” he informed me.
“Yeah,” I sighed, “And, you’re on time…”
“Thank you,” he said with a bit of pride in his voice.
“That wasn’t a compliment,” I mumbled.
Either he didn’t hear me or ignored me, “May I come in?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Be careful of the guinea pig…”
“Oh, I love pets,” he said as he walked past me. The moment he entered the house, Alfalfa started to hiss. The Cable Guy (CG) froze. “Uhmmmm,” he said, “Do you have a snake?” he asked looking around with a concerned look on his face.
“No,” I said closing the door. I turned the deadbolt on the door and it made a loud clicking noise. The cable twitched at the noise.
“What’s that hissing and clicking noise?” he asked nervously.
“That’s my guinea pig, Alfalfa,” I said, “He’s not happy you’re here. He’s hiding under the bed. Let’s hope he doesn’t come out…” I let the last comment hang in the air.
“Whaaaa?” CG asked.
“Here’s the cable box,” I said pointing at the television and box area. CG turned and got to work on my cable problem…and Alfalfa began to strategize on how to torture him…