Alfalfa’s recent sinus infection got me thinking about the cleanliness of the house. And with those thoughts came a frenzied scrubbing of every cleanable surface in the entire house. I scrubbed and wiped and washed and vacuumed every surface in the house. I think for several moments my house was the center of the cleanest place in the universe. But then I looked down and realized that the rug had only been vacuumed…it really wasn’t clean. I was in a cleaning craze and had to exterminate the dirt.
I called a carpet cleaning service and scheduled an appointment for Thursday. That dirty rug was on its last leg. The lady that scheduled my appointment asked me for all the vital information that she needed. I was quoted a price and paid. There was one final question that she asked: “Do you have any pets?” Well, of course I had a pet. So I said, “yes” and told her it was a guinea pig. She noted it for my appointment and we were done. I hung up the phone satisfied that my spotless house would be even more spotless come Thursday.
Thursday arrived. I decided to move as much off of the rug in order to get the best cleaning of all areas of the rug. The kitchen and bathroom quickly became packed as I played a game of furniture Tetris with all of my personal belongings. As I quickly ran out of room, I wondered where the heck all of the stuff had come from. Then I realized I had forgotten to move the most important thing in the house…Alfalfa.
“Dude?” I called into the mostly empty living room. Alfalfa wasn’t stupid. He was hiding under the bed. He was hiding from me. Alfalfa stuck his nose out from under the bed skirt, sniffed, and pushed through out into the open. “Ok,” I said to my furry friend, “You are going to be confined to the bathroom…” Alfalfa looked at me and decided that he didn’t like what he heard. He took off for under the bed again. All I saw was a furry butt disappearing beneath the bed skirt. This was not going to be easy.
I got down on my hands and a knee, lifted the bed skirt, and was face to face with one angry guinea pig. “Dude?” I asked stupidly. In response, Alfalfa step forward and nipped my nose. “Ouch!” I yelled as he took off in the opposite direction at top speed. I stood up and rubbed my nose. Luckily there was nowhere to hide. All of the furniture was out of the living room. “Look here,” I demanded of the rouge beast loose in the living room, “You need to get your butt into the bathroom…” Alfalfa stared back at me. “I’m serious…don’t give me lip…”
I started to walk towards the bathroom. Alfalfa stood still. “Dude,” I called with a touch of desperation in my voice. “Come on, dude…” Alfalfa still wouldn’t budge. “Ok,” I finally said giving in, “I’ll give you a treat!” Alfalfa popcorned and started to happily trot in my direction. “Good boy!” I encouraged and continued to walk into the bathroom.
Then a miracle happened. Alfalfa walked into the bathroom and onto the area I had set up for him. I was shocked, amazed, and befuddled. I thought, ‘Is this my guinea pig?’ Alfalfa broke my train of thought. He started to do a happy popcorn treat dance at my feet. He let out small wheeks of anticipation. I took the treats down from off of the cage and gave him a large helping. “Wow!” I said to the head a busily munching fur baby, “You are such a good boy.” Alfalfa let out a small wheek of pleasure. “You’re welcome…” I said and left the bathroom shutting the door most of the way.
“That was amazing!” I said out loud to the apartment. I was serious. Alfalfa’s behavior was amazing. It was nothing like his usual defiant behavior. I didn’t have time to ponder why my guinea pig was behaving himself. I had to get the apartment ready for the Carpet Cleaning Guy. So, I went to work busily cleaning and moving as much as I could off of the carpets. Little did I know that Alfalfa was saving up for the mother of all problems later in the day… And not only would I suffer but the Carpet Cleaning Guy would take the bulk of the abuse… (But that’s next week’s story…)