With all of the recent rains (before our current heat wave), there was some water intrusion into my apartment. Of course, it occurred right where Alfalfa’s area is located. I had to move his area in order to clean and sanitize the rug. Alfalfa was not happy with this. He took it as a challenge to his authority in the house. So, he accordingly reacted as all boss guinea pigs would…he protested.
I moved all of Alfalfa’s items and set them up about five feet from where they used to be not thinking anything of the whole process. Alfalfa was almost immediately taken aback by the movement of his things. I didn’t realize that moving his stuff would cause such an issue. Alfalfa ran over to the area where his stuff used to be and began to sniff furiously.
“What you up to pig?” I called as I got out the carpet cleaner. I assumed that he was occupied by the smell of the area I had just uncovered. I turned to fill the cleaner tank with hot water. As I was putting it back I saw a small pile of beans in the center of the area I wanted to clean. “Dude…” I said with a disappointing tone and grabbed a napkin to clean up the area. Alfalfa stuck his head out from under the bed skirt and huffed at me. “Yes,” I said as I walked by, “I know, I moved your stuff and you’re not happy…. It’s not my fault…” I cleaned up the beans and returned to the kitchen to fill the other tank for the rug cleaner.
It took no more than two minutes to fill up the second tank. But as I turned back to the living room, I saw that Alfalfa had managed to run from under the bed, lay a larger pile of beans in almost the same spot, and run back under the bed. “Alfalfa!” I yelled. Again the guinea pig stuck his head out from under the bed skirt. “Seriously?” I asked incredulously, “Seriously?” I put the tank down and went to the kitchen to grab a tissue to clean up the new mess. Alfalfa watched me from under the bed skirt. He huffed at me as I walked by. “Whatever!” I said to my naughty guinea pig.
I wrestled with the carpet cleaner and finally got the affected area cleaned up. It was still damp. I had to set up a barrier to keep Alfalfa out of the area and to let it dry. I had some cage materials that were strung together like a barrier. So, I set up the temporary barrier and went to empty the carpet cleaner. I heard a scrap, bump, and then I heard the barrier thump on rug as it fell over. I immediately knew what was up. Turning I yelled, “Alfalfa!” I was too late. Alfalfa was in the ‘beaning’ position laying down several fresh beans in the area I had just cleaned. My shout made several more fly out as he took off for the cover of the area under the bed. I grabbed a napkin for cleanup as I left the kitchen. “PIG!” was all I could say as I marched past the bed into the living room. There were about 10 fresh beans on the carpet I just cleaned.
Now, I know that Alfalfa’s beans are not that hard to clean up. But that isn’t the point! He had just knocked over a barrier to bean in an area that was clearly off limits. Clearly this was a sign of disrespect. I walked over to the bed and said, “Get you butt out here…” Alfalfa stuck his head out from under the bed skirt. “You need to be a good boy,” I said in a firm voice. “Stop beaning on the cleaned rug!” Alfalfa huffed at me and stuck his head back under the bed.
I cleaned up his mess from the rug and replaced the barrier. This time I used other furniture to reinforce the barricade. ‘Ha!’ I thought, ‘This should keep him out!’ I went to my desk and began to work on my computer. About five minutes later, Alfalfa walked out from under the bed and went over the barrier. He pushed on it using his head. It didn’t budge. I got up from the computer to see his attempts. He kept trying to find a weak spot to no avail.
“Ha!” I commented from behind him. “You see, I’m smarter than you…” Alfalfa let out a wheek of frustration. He turned and started to walk back to his spot under the bed. As he got to my feet, he stopped and looked up at me. “WHEEEEEK…” he let out in the most pathetic voice he could find. “No,” I said firmly. Alfalfa struck like lightening. He leaned forward and bit my pinky toe on my left foot…hard. I jumped and he took off for under the bed.
“Darn it!” I yelled holding my left foot and jumping on the right one. I hopped over to the couch and sat down cradling the foot. Looking down I saw that he didn’t break the skin but left a nice welt mark on the toe. “Oh, guinea pig…” I sad rubbing my toe. With that utterance Alfalfa came trotting around the corner chortling happily as if I had just called him to give him a treat. He wanted a reward for biting my toe. I looked down and said, “Seriously pig?”
The whole carpet is getting cleaned on Thursday. I am not looking forward to Alfalfa’s reaction…