Two Saturdays ago, I took a long, hot, and relaxing shower. It was so nice. I had a great day planned for myself. I was going to get work done around the house, complete some school work, and perhaps go out for some clothes shopping. What a great and productive day. Little did I know how odd it would turn out…
I got out of the shower, dried, and dressed in the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, I smelled a faint odor of chocolate. Sniffing the air, I immediately thought a neighbor was cooking some with chocolate for breakfast. As I stepped into the living room, Alfalfa zoomed by me, into the bedroom, and under the bed. I giggled at him. After all, I call him “The Black Streak” when he runs like that because all you see is a black streak go by. I called, “Dude? You in a feisty mood now?” In response, he ran back across the room and circled and under the bed again. Again, I giggled at his enthusiastic zoomies.
I walked into the kitchen and turned on the light. I surprised to see that a can of powdered hot chocolate mix was on the floor. Somehow the can had fallen off of the refrigerator. It had popped open upon impact and spread a ring of mix out in front of it. There was a powdery mess the size of a small dinner plate in the middle of the kitchen. “Crap,” was all I could get out. I leaned down to pick up the can. That’s when I noticed the small guinea pig foot prints in the powder. “What the?” I asked. Out of nowhere, Alfalfa streaked into the kitchen around me, through the powder, and back into the living room. I saw the fine trail of hot chocolate mix he had made in his wake.
“Alfalfa!” I yelled as he tried to run by again. It scared him. He did two barrel rolls half tumbling, rolling, and tripping. A find powdery substance was thrown from his fur. He stood there looking at me and panting from the running effort. “Is that hot chocolate mix all over you?” He shook his entire body and a fine powder entered the air around him. “Oh, guinea pig…” I sighed. Alfalfa sat back on his haunches and began to furiously scrub his face with both of his forearms. “Poor pig,” I sighed, “Come here…” I leaned down to pick him up and he took off like a shot.
“Alfalfa Pig,” I admonished as he continued to run his butt off. “Dude,” I begged as he ran past me. I tried to grab him again as he ran past me. No luck. He was faster than a horse running by. I paced while he ran. finally, I came to a decision. I needed to take him into the vet. I grabbed my phone and called the emergency vet I use when I have issues and my regular vet is closed. They promptly answered the phone. I talked with a vet-tech regarding my naughty guinea pig’s situation and was advised to, “Bring him in right away, so we can check out his heart…” I hung up the phone and went to capture my crazy guinea pig. Grabbing Alfalfa is a task, at the best of times, that is very hard…this day; it was proved to be almost impossible.
Alfalfa went left. I went right. He went forward. I went backwards. It was a game of chess that I could not ever win. “CRAP!” I let out in frustration. At one point in time I dove across the living room in a desperate attempt to grab him. I missed. I belly flopped off of the living room carpet with a resounding thud. “Uphhhhh,” I let out as I hit the floor. I managed to knock the wind out of myself. “Yeah,” moaned, “That was smart…” I rolled over and laid on my back for several minutes trying to get my composure.
“This is going to be a productive, relaxing, and fun day… Sure,” I said. I sat up and saw Alfalfa stop next to me and begin to furiously clean himself. That’s when I struck. I scooped him up before he realized what was going on. He let out a huge cry of protest and promptly bit my hand. “OUCH!” I let out. I got up, walked over to his carrier, and quickly put him in in. I looked at my right hand and saw that it was bleeding and coved with chocolate powder. I cleaned up and placed a band aid on my fresh bite. I grabbed a towel and put some water on it.
When I walked back into the living and heard Alfalfa trying to escape from his carrier. He was biting the bars and trying to run in circles. The whole carrier was shaking from Alfalfa’s frantic effort to escape. I looked into the carrier to finally see what my guinea pig had done to himself. Alfalfa’s entire body was coated in a fine chocolate powder. His face fur was caked with the stuff. He had made the situation worse by trying to clean himself. Alfalfa continued to rub his forearms over his eyes and face continuing to cake more hot chocolate powder. I opened the carrier and tried to clean him. The moment I stuck my hand in there, Alfalfa teeth’s started chattering and he tried to bite me again. “Well, the vet can deal
with that…” I said closing the door.
Alfalfa continued his protest. “Oh, poor baby,” I said to the carrier. I took it and quickly went out to my car. The entire ride to the vet Alfalfa complained to me. He bit his bars, he run in circles, and wheeked at the top of his lungs. I was glad that I had buckled in his carrier to the seat. He would have knocked the darn thing over. Alfalfa had managed to calm down a bit by the time we made it there. I took him out of his carrier and wrapped him in the towel. We went into the lobby of the vet’s office. Of course there was a line…. After five minutes, we were finally checked in and I sat down with Alfalfa in my arms. My choice of seat was bad…
Next week is part Two… Here’s a preview:
I lost it. “Lady, it’s not a dog, it’s a guinea pig…” I huffed through clenched teeth, “I suggest you and that over-sized, in-breed, Q-tip move yourselves if the smell is bothering youl!!”