Posted by: kerryannekay | January 9, 2013

Free-Rager Danger

Alfalfa is a free-ranger.  He and I have come to a mutual arrangement with the house.  Basically, he does what he wants and I’m forced to adjust to it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love having him roam the house.  He thrives on it.  Are you thinking about allowing your guinea pig to free-range?  I have learned some things I have learned having a free-ranging guinea pig in my house you are going to want to consider before making that decision final…

"What's up here?" - A

“What’s up here?” – A

1) A free-ranger guinea pig can follow you around the house and beg the entire time…

Nothing will stop Alfalfa when he is in the mood to beg.  He whines, he squeaks, he jumps, and is just simply annoying.  Most of the time, a quick snack will stop his whining.  But there are times when nothing silences him.  Those days he likes to follow me around the house and whine at me.  I usually will admonish him with, “Alfalfa, please stop…please.”  That will silence the noise for a couple of minutes before it starts up again.  If I am sitting at my desk, Alfalfa will sit on the floor to my right and bother me until I acknowledge to him.  “Ok,” I will say, “I’m getting up…”  As I get up, Alfalfa will follow me to his treats.  I will hand him one and walk back over to my desk chair.  Several minutes later, Alfalfa is usually back several minutes later begging again.  It is a non-stop begging and whining fest until I go to bed.

2) Your toes are not safe ANYWHERE in the house…

I have had my toes bitten so many times I’ve lost count.  I think Alfalfa enjoys sneaking up on me and biting my toes.  That guinea pig is like a ninja when in toe biting mode.  He always gets me when I am engrossed in an activity.  All is fine and then WHAM he strikes.  Very rarely does he break the skin.  The sudden pinch always sends a shock through my entire body.  It doesn’t matter if I have socks on.  He must have a pair of glasses that see thorough socks.  Many people have

"I like this spot... It's warm, cozy, and near mom's toes." - A

“I like this spot… It’s warm, cozy, and near mom’s toes.” – A

suggested I wear shoes.  I have a pair of slippers that I wear around the house.  They have an open back.  So, unable to get to my toes, Alfalfa will go for my heel.  My pig is unstoppable.

3) That feeling that someone is watching you is not a feeling…the guinea pig is watching you…

Alfalfa does this freaky thing sometimes:  He watches me.  I will be sitting at the computer and fell like someone is watching me.  I will look and see Alfalfa sitting next to my desk staring back up at me.  “What’s up dude?” I will ask.  Initially, he usually doesn’t react.  I will need a second, “Dudeeed?” to break his spell.  When the spell is broken, I usually get an annoyed huff.  He will turn and go about his own business.  It never fails that ten to fifteen minutes later he will be back in the same spot staring at me.  It totally creeps me out.  My own guinea pig is stalking me.

4) Guinea pig bean tend to defy the laws of physics…

I have found Alfalfa’s beans in places that I never thought were possible.  I have found them under the couch…where he clearly cannot fit. I have found them behind fenced off areas in the house.  It’s as if he has put his butt back up against the fence and shot out the beans.  There is no other way they could have wound up there.  I have found a random bean in my school bag.  How the heck does that happen?  I’m sure many of you will offer explanations for that: it stuck to a paper,

"How is that bean pile possible?" - KA

“How is that bean pile possible?” – KA

your bag was on the floor, it fell while cleaning…  But there is no reasonable explanation for that.  Alfalfa is bending the laws of physics.  That’s the only explanation.

5) Guinea pigs like to trip you up…it’s a sport for them

I usually don’t have any problems walking around the house with Alfalfa free-ranging.  He and I have developed a rhythm.  There are sometimes I wonder if Alfalfa is purposely trying to trip me up.  Those days, he will dart in and out from under the bed, across my path, and back in the blink of an eye.  I usually yell, “What the…” and then he is gone.  He will always stick his head out from the bed skirt to ‘inspect’ his work.  Several times he has scared me so badly that I have fallen.  I now know that when his is in his ‘darting’ mood to watch out.  Admonishing him always results in more darting around.


If you are planning on having a free-ranging guinea pig.  Make sure that your environment is well prepared for him or her.  Get down on your hands and knees and look around to see what they can get into.  They will get into everything that is not blocked, covered, or closed.  I have found Alfalfa on low level shelves.  He has also tried to climb into the refrigerator several times when I have left it open.  Think of their health and safety first.  It is a huge responsibility to have a free-ranger guinea pig around.  Trust me, I know…


  1. Haha, low level shelves! Perhaps he was trying to give you a hint about expanding his free range area with a loft? Or maybe he simply enjoys taste testing the books 😉

    • Loft? He has take over the whole house! Thank you for your comment and support. – Kerry Anne

  2. He is an experience, but one you will always cherish 🙂

    • After I get over the headache. lol. Thank you for your comment and support. – Kerry Anne

  3. I had a free ranging piggie once. Definitely potty trained, he only went to the bathroom in the bathroom w/ his own litter box. I have no clue how he got potty trained either. He didn’t do the whining thing but he sure did cause a ruckus from time to time. He chewed a few things. He didn’t bite toes. He did followed me around. I occasionally took him to the park. I felt like I had a dog.

    • Oh, what I would give for Alfalfa to behave like that. My life would be complete! Thank you for your comment and support. – Kerry Anne

  4. I love Alfalfa’s antics!

    I know about the being watched…one my girls, Fergie, has two stances. One she stares off into nothingness and is totally unaware but “chillin'” and if you touch her or blow air on her, she jumps a foot high into the air. We call this one Stoner Pig (I just have to be careful not to say that one in front of my friends’ children!). The other one is “Guarding” where she sits like a dog – on her haunches, with her head cocked to the side, just staring a hole into your soul, daring you to try and mess with one of her two sisters. For this one I always say, “What’s up, pup?” She usually snaps out of this one on her own, but not Stoner Pig mode, once she’s stonin’ there’s no going back!

    • OMG! That’s fantastic. I thought Alfalfa was being odd. I am glad to hear he not the only GP that does that. The idea of keeping the nickname away from the kids is good. Save that for when they are adults…older adults. Thank you for your comment and support. – Kerry Anne

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: