Alfalfa is not what you would call a cuddly pig. In fact, he hates to be pet, picked up, or brushed. So, when I decided to take a picture of him with a bow on his heard, I thought that I may have issues. Let me rephrase that… I knew I would have issues.
When I got home with the bow on Saturday, Alfalfa was in his corner pan eating hay. He was being such a good pig. I saw a great picture opportunity. I took the bow and placed it on his head. I did not fasten it. How could he notice something that light? Well, he did right away. Alfalfa tilted it back and off the bow slid before I could grab my camera.
‘Ok,’ I thought, ‘I need a new approach.’ My strategy was prep, place, and then picture. It could not fail! I took out my camera, sat down in the perfect position, put the camera next to me, placed the bow, and grabbed the camera for a picture. Again, Alfalfa quickly tossed the bow from his head. This time he sniffed at it and tried to taste it. “Dude,” I said grabbing the bow, “don’t eat that!” He looked up at me clearly annoyed. “Sorry,” I apologized, “Can I get a picture?” Alfalfa huffed at me. “Going to make this difficult?” I asked know the answer was ‘yes’ already.
I made a third attempt at placing the bow on his head. Alfalfa saw it coming and did a quick popcorn maneuver to the side. He successfully avoided the bow placement. It was at that point I made a bad decision. I opened the clip on the bow and attached it to his head. Alfalfa immediately tried the same maneuver to dislodge the bow. It didn’t work. He tried again swinging his head with a bit more vigor. No luck, again. I grabbed my camera and prepared to take a great picture. It didn’t happen. Alfalfa freaked out…
The freak out started with a bit of an angry popcorn dance. When he does this it looks like he is being poked with an invisible pin all over and is jumping in response to the pain. “Dude,” I said trying to calm him down, “relax…” Just then Alfalfa let out a battle cry of a wheek. He jumped out of his corner pan and began to…to…well, spaz. He jumped, twisted, and writhed in frustration. “Ok,” I said conceding to his freak out, “I’ll take it out. Hold still.” He didn’t. In fact, my words only seem to motivate his freak out even more.
Alfalfa ran past me and under the bed. “Damn it!” I said going after my crazy pig. I heard him writhing under bed. I pulled up the bed skirt and went to look under it. The guinea pig stopped his bow removal attempt and gave me the look of death. “Oh,” I remarked, “Stop being a baby and hold still…” I reached for the guinea pig. He jumped my hand and ran past me towards his cage. I turned just in time to see him trip, roll, get back up and continue. I sighed again and went over to his cage. He was in his pig-a-loo chattering his teeth at me.
“You are such a baby!” was all I could say as I reached into the cage and pulled his hiding place up and out of the cage. The angry pig hissed at me. Yes, hissed at me. I didn’t even know it was possible for a guinea pig to make that noise. But, he did. More amazingly, the bow was gone. “Dude,” I said to Alfalfa, “where is the bow?” Alfalfa chattered his teeth at me. Clearly, he was not in a mood to answer my questions. “Fine, I’ll come back when you are in a better mood…” I said placing the house back over him.
Alfalfa emerged from his house about an hour later. He was calmer but still not in the mood to talk. “Dude,” I said stopping him in his travels, “Where’s the bow?” He looked at me and stuck his nose up. Then he casually continued on his route. I went into the cage looking for the bow. It was not there. I searched the rug area he uses, his hay, and even under the bin. After about a half an hour of searching, I came to the conclusion that the bow was gone.
I still have not found that bow several days later. I think Alfalfa has some type of guinea pig black hole. That can be the only explanation for it. I can see myself now when I move in a couple of years finding that stupid bow and it reminding me of when I tried to take a picture of him with it. On a brighter note, I am fortunate to have some foresight into my guinea pig’s behavior. I knew he would not like that bow…so, I bought two! The next day I gave him the FULL spa treatment and tired him out. It was only then that I was able to get a picture of him with the bow placed on his head. One point for me…
Kerry Anne: 1