Posted by: kerryannekay | October 24, 2012

Dreading the Shredding

Alfalfa, like all guinea pigs, is a rodent.  As a rodent he has some undesirable behaviors.   I have managed to curb or redirect some of these behaviors.  These include his chewing, eating, and pooping habits.  I think his toe biting is not a behavior but a hobby.  But the one behavior I cannot control, redirect, or curb is his shredding.  Alfalfa loves to shred the paper I use for the bottom of his cage and for his potty pans under the bed.  It causes me sleepless night, extra cleaning duties, and most of all wear and tear on the vacuums…

What? – A

The first time I heard Alfalfa shred was one night soon after I ‘installed’ his potty pans under the bed.  I went to bed thinking that I had out smarted the butt-head.  I sighed as a drifted off into an ignorant bliss.  At about three in the morning, the noises started… *scrrriiipppppt* is the only way I can describe it.  I woke up and heard the noise again.  *scrrriiipppppt* I broke out into an instant sweat.  My heart started to beat faster and faster.  *scrrriiipppppt* My panicked thoughts ran the gambit…someone was coming to kill me…someone was in my apartment… *scrrriiipppppt*  I knew that I was going to die…soon.

*scrrriiipppppt* I got up the courage, reached out to my bed side lamp, sat up, and quickly turned the light on.  I expected to see an ax murder standing next to my bed.  The apartment was empty and quiet.  I went to throw back the covers and soon realized that I was biting the bed sheet with all I had.  Giggling at my folly, I released the now wet sheet.  “Huh?” I said out loud.  “Silly me,” I remarked reaching out my foot to step on the floor.  *scrrriiipppppt*  Now, you have to promise not to hold this reaction against me.  If I was a man and had a man card, it would have been stripped from me at this very moment.  Fortunately, I am a women and can have small moments like this, occasionally.

I screamed at the top of my lungs for all I was worth.  I was scared poop-less (to be polite for our younger readers).  I saw Alfalfa bolt from under the bed.  Paper followed the guinea pig in his trail.  I stood there, on my bed, dumbfounded pressed up against the wall.  “What the hell?” was all I could manage.  I looked around the floor where Alfalfa enters and exits his area.  There was newspaper everywhere…everywhere.  “Crap…”  I said getting on my hands and knees and crawling to the edge of the bed.  I looked and saw that the brat had been busy throughout the night.

I looked up and saw Alfalfa staring at me from across the room.  “Is this your work?” I asked from the bed.  He huffed at me and tilted his head.  I was getting the ‘What the hell are you doing?’ look he has mastered.  “That noise?  That was you…you shredding the paper?  Alfalfa?”  He chattered his teeth at me.  “I’ll that that as a yes,” I said getting down off of the bed, “Don’t tell me…I’m an idiot.”  I needed the ladies room.  After my business was done, I walked back into the living room then kitchen.  Alfalfa was doing the feed me dance as I walked by.  “Yes, I know, I know…food…now…” I sighed.

Now, what? A

It took me a full hour to fall back to sleep after that scare.  I was tired the next day but had a good story to tell.  What?  You don’t think that noise is scary in the night?  Ok.  You need to do an experiment at three in the morning.  Take newspaper and tear it length wise to create a good 1 to 2 second ripping noise.  Now go in the dark to someone’s bedroom and start making that noise until they wake up. If they don’t kill you for doing it, interview them and ask how scary it was…  On second thought, don’t do that…trust me it scared the poop out of me…

I would like to dedicate this installment of the Alfalfa’s Adventues to Jasmine.  She got her angle wings.   She was loved by all at The Cozy Cavy.!/pages/The-Cozy-Cavy/110805215606220?fref=ts



  1. Oh Alfafa! Why don’t hoomans understand how much fun you can have by ripping up bedding?! Whee think if they tried tearing up their duvets they would have fun too! 🙂

    Nibbles, Nutty, Buddy & Basil

    • Ok, guys, don’t encourage him! He doesn’t shred and spread as much as he used to… And he said to tell you, “WHEEK!” He said you would understand. IDK. Thanks for your comment and support. Keep up the good work with the blog too! – Kerry Anne

  2. Oh, the shredding. I now use fleece liners in the pig cage, but they still have their large chewy-tube. They just love to peel it apart layer, by layer, by layer…I look and say, “Hey! It is a CHEWY tube! You are supposed to CHEW it, not peel it like a banana!” This is met with dubious stares and quiet wheeking as if they are whispering about what an idiot I am…

    • I did try fleece for a while with a shred tube. He started shredding everything that was not bolted down. I learned quickly what needed new pig proofing. And the poor rugs. He went after those like it was his JOB! So, I switched back to paper. Now that I know what it is it doesn’t wake me. And he rarely shreds and spreads. We have a happy balance now… Thanks for the comment and your support. – Kerry Anne

  3. Ok..My herd is also strickly fleece. No shredding! However…..Norma and Foo shake rattle and make a rukus anytime a butterfly farts! (or any sound louder than that!) It could wake the dead! The like doing it at 3am also! Wanna trade?

    • Nope. I love my and his quirky nature. I would consider going all fleece if I had my own washer. I don’t. It got so expensive when I did it. Besides I think that Alfalfa likes the bedding I use. He burrows in it. I’ll catch him half covered in it asleep. It’s like an odd security blanket. I’ve even given him strips of fleece in the hopes he would use those to burrow. But he went right to the bedding each time. I do use Carefresh with him. Thanks for your comment and support. – Kerry Anne

  4. Wonderful!

    • Liz, you are just awesome! – KA

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