So, I was sitting in front of my computer for about a half an hour. And I was not able to write a blog… It sucked. I wondered how was I supposed to write a good blog if I there was nothing good anything to write about? Alfalfa had been decent this week. I was wondering if my demon pig has turned the corner. Looking down at him I asked, “Dude, do something interesting so I can write about it…” Of course, Alfalfa stared back at me with that ‘what are you a dumbass?’ look he has perfected. “Well,” I remarked, “At least you are behaving yourself.”
Alfalfa continued to look back me with that same stare. “Oh, dude,” I cooed, “You are such a good pig.” The moment I said that, I regretted it… Alfalfa decided to break his ‘good spell’. He jumped forward and bit my toe. Of course I yelled. “OUCH! Alfalfa!” Which caused him to jump and run off for under the bed. As I grabbed my toe, I noticed blood. ‘Oh, damn,’ I lamented to myself, ‘He just had to break the skin…’ I hopped over to the bathroom holding my wounded foot for some serious first aid. As I cleaned my gaping wound, I saw Alfalfa in the door way.
“Alfalfa,” I said, “Coming to inspect your work?” He sniffed back at me. “Thanks,” I said through my teeth and the pain of the antiseptic. I went back to tending to my bite. It was not as bad as I thought. After several moments, I looked up and saw how my lovely guinea pig was saying, ‘You’re Welcome.’ Alfalfa was dutifully creating a rather large pile of beans on the rug in the middle of the open door. “Alfalfa!” I yelled. He startled and shot some beans into the bathroom before taking off to the living room. “Oh, crap,” was all I could say and sigh.
I finished cleaning my toe and put a bandage on it. That’s when I heard the noise. I couldn’t figure out what was grinding and bumping on something. I stood in the middle of the bathroom totally befuddle atthe noise. “What the hell is that?” I asked out loud. Several second later I heard the crash in the living room. I ran out there to see what was going on. Silence. “What the hell?” I asked the silent room. Turning I noticed my brand new, bought this weekend, not even a week old iPhone speaker dock was on the floor. “Crap,” I said walking over to it. Alfalfa had managed to pull it down off of the night table. Upon further inspection, I noticed that he had chewed thought the cord. “Damn-it!” I yelled.
At my last comment, Alfalfa stuck his head out from under the bed. “You done yet? Seriously? That’s the third thing…tonight!” I said with breathless despair. “I give up,” I said throwing the useless dock on the bed. I sat down on the bed. Alfalfa popped his head out from the bed skirt next to my feet. “Well,” I said, “I guess I did ask you to do something interesting… But did you have to do all of that, dude?” Alfalfa wheeked back at me. “Yeah, I know,” I acknowledged, “Don’t ruin your reputation…”