Posted by: kerryannekay | September 19, 2012

Ask Alfalfa

Finally, mom has let me speak for myself.  Some of my fans have asked me questions.  Here are my answers:

Jade H:  Do you ever play “Turtle-turtle?” – Oh, my.   Ok, in order to play turtle-turtle, you need a towel.  That means you need a bath.  NO, I don’t play because I hate baths and will fight to the death to avoid them.  *clicks teeth*

Jade H: “How did you get to be so handsome?” – Well, that’s kinda obvious…  Baby, I was born this way! Oh, yea!  *rumble struts across room*

Melissa B:  “What is your favorite treat?” – Toes.  You never know what kind of flavors you will taste when you bite down.  Sometimes it’s earthy like after mom walks outside without her shoes.  And other times it’s fruity like after mom showers with her special soap.  I love the surprise!

Jenn S:  “What do you have planned next for the lady who things you are el diablo?” – That’s a tough one…I like spontaneity.  Perhaps if I can get her toes next time.  That will discourage her from getting me with that darn water.  

Nicola H:  How does your mother cope with all your boldness? She must really love you!!!” – Nicola, I’m just going ignore the first part of that question.  Boldness?  Seriously?  This is just me.  And the second part really isn’t a question…but, I am loved, duhhhhh… she’s my mom, of course she loves me!
Nicola H:  How do you cope with all the attention from all the women, your just one little dude??” – Now, this is a question!  I don’t have to cope…  It just comes naturally for me.  I just a ladies’ man.  You wanna piece?
Nicola H:  How does your neighbor cope with being terrorized by a guinea pig?” – Well, not very well.  I don’t escape as often as I’d like.  So, we very rarely meet.  But when we do I go out of my way to make it memorable. 

Melissa B:  “What is the record number of times you have bit your mom’s toes in one day?” – How many toes do human have again?  I got all of her toes on one foot right after she adopted me.  She hadn’t learned that I loved the taste of toes by then.  *giggles*

Nancy G:  “How often does your mom give you a bath?” – Too often.  *grrrrr* I hate baths.  I try to escape from the tub during the bath.  But, I do like to be blow dried after it… 

Nina:  “What would we do if our “mom’s” let us meet?” – Nina, I can’t post that here in a ‘g-rated’ blog… *whispers*  Call me later girl… *winks*

Elizabeth F:  “How many beans do you produce daily?” – Is there a number greater than infinity…that might work as start.

Susan R:  “Do you have a girl friend?” – Susan, that’s a very sticky subject.  No matter what I say I’m going to get into trouble…  Nina is my number one lady.  Joe-Joe is my number two lady.  Now, what that means exactly…I don’t know.  So, to everyone out there that I’ve managed to offend…I’m sorry…in advance.  *hangs head in shame*

Patricia M:  “How did you lean to escape from your cage?” – Well, one day I was exploring the cage.  I noticed that one of the edges of the cage was not properly fitted to the plastic.  So, I pushed.  The cage popped off of the plastic.  When I nudged my nose between the cage and plastic, I was able to lift it up a bit.  I’m a strong pig and continued to push.  The cage shifted again and I was out!  So, it was an accident waiting to happen…  After that first taste of freedom, I had to have it again, and again, and again.  So, I tried all of my tricks to escape each day.  Now, I don’t have to escape…I’m a free-ranger.

 Patricia M:  “How did you develop your magnificent personality?” – Well, my mom loves me and has allowed me to explore all of my options.  So, this is what developed.  Lol.

Lelani B:  “What is so special about our poops?” – EVERYTHING!  Poops are the key to our health, they are wonderful decorations, and the special ones taste oh, so, good.  Without my poops I’d be a nobody…not acceptable. 

Jade H:  “Do you love your mommy A.?” – Yes, Jade.  Just like I love my fans…especially you.  *blushes*

Amanda A:  “Why did you not want a brother to play with?” – I did…I just couldn’t handle it.  I think that I got used to being by myself.  My mom claims that I have a ‘bad attitude’ and that’s the problem.  But, I don’t think so.  Being alone is in the nature of some pets.  We just need extra love and attention from our moms.  My mom gives me that.  So, I’m a very happy GP. 

Garibaldi Caplin Rous:  “Why do you only bite toes?” – Actually, Gari, I bite fingers too.  I’ve got a bit of a nipping habit that I can’t fix.  It was a habit that developed with my first owner.  I did when a nasty young girl tried to pick me up.  She would squeeze too hard.  So, I had to nip to get her to stop.  I can’t seem to get over my previous life.  How do you do it Gari?

Deveryly B:  “What is your most favorite treat that make you wheek the loudest?” – My mom’s toes…but that is more of a victory cry than a wheek for a treat.  I’d have to say timothy hay cubes.  I go nuts for those things…compacted cubes of fresh timothy hay…oh, my mouth is drooling already… 

Elizabeth F:  “Who is your favorite human other than mom, and why?” – I like my mom’s dad.  He fed me.  So, he is cool.  Actually, I tend to fall in love with anyone who feeds me…  Mom says it’s a ‘guy thing’.  What’s she know about good food?  Seriously. 

Peanuts The Princess Pig:  “Alfalfa what do you love to eat and what does your mommy fix for you to eat every day?” – *blushes* Peanuts, I love the bows you wear in your hair.  You are so cute.  Oh, yea, like watermelon as a treat.  My mom gives me lots of fresh stuff.  I love it all. 

Patricia M:  “You were so sick when you Mom got you when did you awesomeness start to show?” – That’s hard to say…  I know that I’ve always been awesome but the problem was that other people did not know it…  Mom says I because a pain in her butt around three months after she adopted me.  But that’s when I started to feel better. 

Kate C.:  “We want to know if you could be any other animal for a day, what would you be?” – I would be one of your pets…  I know you spoil them all.  I read your posts too!  😉

Thank you for all of your questions.  I hope to do this more regularly for all of my fans.  I love you all!    ❤ Alfalfa



  1. No question about it — you are a sassypants pig! Did I ever mention that I love sassy boars.

    • *pop corns* Thank you. But I don’t wear pants. So, how could they be sassy? – A

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