I usually go shopping on Sunday for the week. I needed to pick up some stuff for the house and get Alfalfa some bedding, greens, carrots, and veggies. It was going to be a normal shopping trip, right? Wrong… I had a near-death experience at Wally-World…
I arrived at the store and it was crowded as it usually is on most Sundays. One of the most dangerous areas of the store is the lobby for the shopping carts. People rush in, people rush out, the greeters jam up the traffic flow, shopping carts are being added to the back of the row, people are grabbing shopping carts, people are putting shopping carts back…it’s chaos, just shear chaos. So, I am always very careful when getting a shopping cart.
The funny thing is that there can be hundreds of shopping carts lined up but people think that the store is going to run out. I have had people snatch a cart from under me. This trip was no exception. Some lady swooped in around me and grabbed a cart I was clearly reaching for. “Oh, excuse me…” she said as she stepped around me. As she walked away I yelled, “There was like 5000…but I guess that one had your name on it!” The cart snatcher turned around and gave me a glare but kept on walking. I saw the greeter frantically clutching her radio as if a fight were about to break out. I shook it off and went for another cart. Another lady tried to grab it from me. “Excuse me!” I said grabbing back at the cart. I must have had a crazy look in my eyes. The lady backed off quickly. She profusely apologized and went for a cart three rows down.
With my cart procured, I proceeded into the store to do my shopping. Here is a question for anyone that has been in a store like Wally-World: Why do they place stuff like watermelons and corn in the entrance area? All it does is gum-up the whole area and cause traffic jams. I swear that I spend more time trying to get past this area than I do shopping. People have to stop and examine those things before they buy. If I had a dime for every corn husk that I have almost slipped on… But, I’m getting off topic… I maneuvered carefully through the congestion.
I took a left past the corn jam and walked past the bank of registers towards the pharmacy area. There were a ton of registers open, no lines, and more importantly a ton of free space in front of me. I saw a blur on my right and then BAM. My shopping cart was rammed from the right. My cart was empty and the looser of the collision to an overstuffed cart with more momentum. My cart fell over to the left. Luckily I reacted and stepped back out of the way and let the cart fall. The cart hit a display of chocolate candy. And as the laws of candy physics had it my cart had enough momentum to knock the flimsy cardboard display over. Candy bags and pieces flew everywhere in an explosion of calamity.
The items in the lady’s cart added to the mess. I saw the offending cart spilling its contents. Cheerios, granola bars, and Spaghetti-o went flying off the top. “Aughh!” I yelled throwing my hands up in the air. I took a step back and felt the crunch of the chocolate candy under my heel. The other lady looked like she was going into shock.
“Jesus,” she yelled with a southern accent. “Oh, Jesus!” I heard her mutter again.
I just stood there for a couple of seconds speechless. The lady who hit me also stood there. Wally-World employees came running from all directions. Each asking us, “Are you ok?” as they approached. “I’m fine,” I stated plainly to one of the more official looking ones. The lady also said she was ‘fine’. The person I assumed was the manager asked me what had happened as he looked over the mess. Another manager type person was barking orders on a radio.
“My cart was hit by hers and it was knocked into the display…” I stated plainly still in a bit of shock by the huge mess. People were gawking at me, the lady, and the mess. I felt like I had just been in a traffic accident. The manager was asking me questions. “Huh?” I asked.
“She said you hit her…” he explained. My shock over the situation dissipated immediately.
“WHAT?!?” I exclaimed. The manger made a gesture with his hands trying to calm me. “What?” I said a bit too loud again. “I was in the aisle walking when she rammed me like a damn mad women,” I argued. “Like a mad women!” I said again for emphasis.
“We have insurance for this type of thing,” the manager was trying to explain to me. I was too busy giving the lady an evil eye.
“Look,” I interrupted. “That woman ran into me…” I pointed at her jabbing as I pointed. I took a breath and finished with, “Are we done?” I stated more than asked. The manager gave me a perplexed look while opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
“I guess…” he stated plainly. His cleaning cronies were almost through with cleaning the bulk of the loose candy.
“I need to get my shopping done…” I stated as I started to walk away.
“Ahhh,” the manager stumbled, “Your cart…” I turned to see him try to right the cart. It started to lean to the right. The front right wheel was missing.
“No thanks,” I said with sarcasm, “I’ll get another…you’ve got like 5000 more out there…” I turned and walked back towards the entrance to the store. As I passed the greeter that panicked before I said, “My cart broke…I need a new one…” I saw her jaw drop as I passed. I couldn’t help myself with a parting, “Hope I don’t almost get into a fight over this one…” I heard her talking into her radio again with a panicked voice. In retrospect that was a bad idea.
I swear that they had under cover security following me the entire way. I went through my shopping with no other incidents. I got the pet bedding and giggled. By that time it was obvious…I was being followed. The guy picked up random items from the isle and tossed them into his cart. I resisted making a comment about his presence. I didn’t want to get kicked out of Wally-World. What would I tell Alfalfa?
When I got home Alfalfa was excited to see me and the grocery bags. I unpacked the goods and turned to see Alfalfa standing just outside of the kitchen. He wanted something I was unpacking. I giggled at him and said, “Ha! You have no idea what I had to go through to get you this! I almost died!” (Well, not really… But he doesn’t need to know that… lol!)