Posted by: kerryannekay | June 27, 2012

According to Alfalfa

Did you ever wonder what guinea pig actions mean?  What does that wheek before dinner mean?  Why does my pig like to bite my toes?  I have made some revolutionary discoveries!  After observing

“I did not like that bath…” – A

Alfalfa for the better part of two years now, I think I have discovered some meaning to his actions.  These ‘interpretations’ have been scientifically documented and cataloged below in his voice…that way we humans can better understand his point…

1) Hides with head under bed skirt:  “If I can’t see you…you cannot see me.”

2) Screams at top of lungs before a meal:  “It is the end of my world if a meal is late.”

3) Sits on poop:  “Poop sitting is not nasty…it makes me smell wonderful.”

4) Bites on bars before a meal:  “Biting the bars means faster service for my meals.”

5) Runs away from running water:  “I do not smell!  I do not need a bath!”

6) Bites human and looks away:  “No, I didn’t just bite you.  I was just making sure that you were not food.”

7) Leaves a huge pile of poop behind:  “The more poop the better.”

8) Looks at you then looks away when offering a treat:  “Naw, I’m too lazy for that…”

9) Sniffs at a fresh cage and turns away:  “New bedding?  No!   I just got that smelling the way that I wanted…”

10) Bites toe:  “Toes could be carrots…  I’d better check just in case…”

11) Lies out in the middle of the floor:  “There is always time for me to take another nap.  Zzzzzzzz…”

12) Gives a nasty look when awaken:  “Do not wake me.  I will wake you when I am ready.”

13) Wheeks at top of lungs:  “I am not loud.  You are just a sensitive person.”

14) Turns nose up when asked about a pile of poop:  “Yes.  Yes, I put that pile of poop right there…  So what?!?”

15) Runs away with sock:  “Oh, that was your sock?  Well, now it’s my girlfriend.”

16) Looks at you blankly when picking up something off of the floor:  “You wanted that back without chew marks?  Sucks to be you, doesn’t it?”

17) Bites nail trimmer:  “My nails do not need a trim…I’m growing them out for ‘the look’.”

18) Wheeks at top of lungs when standing at full bowl:  “Seriously?  That’s all you are going to feed me?”

19) Wheeks at empty bowl:  “Yo!  Service over here!”

20) Wheeks at door knock:  “MG is back.  I’m going to get that dude…”

21) Swings hips and rumble struts:  “I’m sexy and I know it!”

As you can tell from my exhaustive study, I have discovered many of the meanings of Alfalfa’s actions.  I hope to continue my study.  Who know, one day, I may actually understand most of the stuff the does…  Right…


  1. Hilarious, and very true! No doubt my pigs are telling me many of the same things.

  2. Alfafa, you have taught your hooman how to speak guinea pig body language well. Whee are very impressed.

    Nibbles, Nutty, Bingo & Buddy

    • Guys, you are awesome. By the way, I love your blog. I wish Alfafa was a well behaved as you all are. He is such a nut job! – Kerry Anne

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