Posted by: kerryannekay | February 29, 2012

Poop Wars – Episode 1: “Poop in the Morning”

My mouth is empty. What's up with that?

I enjoy the weekends…you can sleep late, stay under the warm covers, and take your time joining the world.  However, Alfalfa views the weekends in quiet a different light.  Those are the two days of the week that his food may or may not be late, he may have to be quiet, and that may not get a good ear scratch.  Not acceptable to any guinea pig.  I woke up this past Sunday a bit later than usual…8:00 a.m.  I was brought back to the world by the rustling under the bed.  Alfalfa let out some small squeaks of displeasure to remind me of the time.

Ignoring the noises, I stretched out in bed and enjoyed the warm covers.  Alfalfa heard the movement and set off his alarm.  He ran from out of the bed and squeaked at me from the rug next the bed.  He wanted to be fed…right then and there.  “Ok, Ok,” I relented, “I’ll get up and feed you.”  When he heard my voice, he let out the mother of all squeals.  I sat up in bed.  “Ok!” I said.  I threw the covers off of me and put my feet on the ground.  The bedroom was cold and dark…  Alfalfa bolted for the kitchen.  I stood up and took two steps.  I felt something cold and squishy through my left sock.  My brain immediately registered what it was:  POOP!

Now, this was not the first time that I have stepped into a little pile that Alfalfa has left for me.  My usual reaction is a bit of repulsion mixed with a touch of anger topped off by embarrassment.   Not this time.  In my defense, it was a Sunday morning and I was still a bit groggy.  Also, Alfalfa had been so good about using his litter pans the past couple of months; I had put my guard down.

I freaked out… not just a small freak out…  I had the mother of all freak outs.  I jumped up and grabbed my left foot trying to balance on my right leg.  Somehow I managed to hop several time before starting to fall towards my bed.  Now that would have been an acceptable surface to fall on…comfy pillows, nice mattress, and warm covers.  What the heck was my brain thinking?

I overcorrected to my left…right into the dresser.  I hit my left hip on the wooden dresser and let out a loud scream of pain.  The dresser rocked and most of the stuff started to tumble off of it.  I finally fell and hit the ground.  There were trinkets and small treasures on the floor to cushion my fall.  I hit with a sound thud that I felt throughout my body.  Lying on my side, I began to laugh and cry.  Trinkets of my life continued their assault on me from above.  All I could think was, ‘This guinea pig is going to kill me…’

Alfalfa – 1
Kerry Anne – 0

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