Follow the Beans

Do you ever wonder what your guinea pig does when you are not home?  I do all the time about Alfalfa.  He leaves a lot of evidence behind from his daily activities. In fact, he has an automatic tracing system…

Sometimes, when I get home, I find a trail of beans from place to place in the apartment.  I like to think that Alfalfa has some sort of line dotting machine in his butt…a “bean-line machine”.  It traces dotted lines wherever he travels around the house…only using his beans.  I think it’s normally set to one bean per ten steps.  That’s the only way to describe the lines he creates.  These lines come in very handy when trying to see what he was up to during the day.

I think there is an idle setting on the bean-line machine.  But the idle setting is at a higher distribution rate than the walking setting.  Whenever he stops somewhere, there is a larger bean concentration.  The size of the pile is directly related to the time he spends at a specific location.  For example, I found a huge pile of beans in front of where I keep the treats.  To me, that large pile of beans indicates that he spends a long time looking up at the treats wishing for one.

There is a ‘dump’ setting on it too.  I think that’s in case he unable to dispense all of the beans needed to prevent a backup.  Thank goodness he tends to use that setting on his pans under the bed.  However, the height of the piles does surprise me.  It seems like they are much taller than him.  How is that possible?   Does he shoot them out?  Does he climb the pile like Mount Everest and build from the top to down?  Does he stand on something and bomb the pans?  I don’t think that I will ever know the truth.

The final setting is on Alfalfa’s bean-liner is the run setting.  When he has this setting on it is harder to determine where he has been.  This is a one bean for fifteen step setting.  So, it’s hard to figure out where he has been.  I decided to make a map.  That was a disaster.  See:

Alfalfa’s Bean Pattern…

As you can see from the map above I couldn’t figure out what the heck had happened during the day.  It just looked like a bunch of beans strewn around the room.  All I could say is that he had one heck of time making it…  Oh, Alfalfa.

Dreading the Shredding

Alfalfa, like all guinea pigs, is a rodent.  As a rodent he has some undesirable behaviors.   I have managed to curb or redirect some of these behaviors.  These include his chewing, eating, and pooping habits.  I think his toe biting is not a behavior but a hobby.  But the one behavior I cannot control, redirect, or curb is his shredding.  Alfalfa loves to shred the paper I use for the bottom of his cage and for his potty pans under the bed.  It causes me sleepless night, extra cleaning duties, and most of all wear and tear on the vacuums…

What? – A

The first time I heard Alfalfa shred was one night soon after I ‘installed’ his potty pans under the bed.  I went to bed thinking that I had out smarted the butt-head.  I sighed as a drifted off into an ignorant bliss.  At about three in the morning, the noises started… *scrrriiipppppt* is the only way I can describe it.  I woke up and heard the noise again.  *scrrriiipppppt* I broke out into an instant sweat.  My heart started to beat faster and faster.  *scrrriiipppppt* My panicked thoughts ran the gambit…someone was coming to kill me…someone was in my apartment… *scrrriiipppppt*  I knew that I was going to die…soon.

*scrrriiipppppt* I got up the courage, reached out to my bed side lamp, sat up, and quickly turned the light on.  I expected to see an ax murder standing next to my bed.  The apartment was empty and quiet.  I went to throw back the covers and soon realized that I was biting the bed sheet with all I had.  Giggling at my folly, I released the now wet sheet.  “Huh?” I said out loud.  “Silly me,” I remarked reaching out my foot to step on the floor.  *scrrriiipppppt*  Now, you have to promise not to hold this reaction against me.  If I was a man and had a man card, it would have been stripped from me at this very moment.  Fortunately, I am a women and can have small moments like this, occasionally.

I screamed at the top of my lungs for all I was worth.  I was scared poop-less (to be polite for our younger readers).  I saw Alfalfa bolt from under the bed.  Paper followed the guinea pig in his trail.  I stood there, on my bed, dumbfounded pressed up against the wall.  “What the hell?” was all I could manage.  I looked around the floor where Alfalfa enters and exits his area.  There was newspaper everywhere…everywhere.  “Crap…”  I said getting on my hands and knees and crawling to the edge of the bed.  I looked and saw that the brat had been busy throughout the night.

I looked up and saw Alfalfa staring at me from across the room.  “Is this your work?” I asked from the bed.  He huffed at me and tilted his head.  I was getting the ‘What the hell are you doing?’ look he has mastered.  “That noise?  That was you…you shredding the paper?  Alfalfa?”  He chattered his teeth at me.  “I’ll that that as a yes,” I said getting down off of the bed, “Don’t tell me…I’m an idiot.”  I needed the ladies room.  After my business was done, I walked back into the living room then kitchen.  Alfalfa was doing the feed me dance as I walked by.  “Yes, I know, I know…food…now…” I sighed.

Now, what? A

It took me a full hour to fall back to sleep after that scare.  I was tired the next day but had a good story to tell.  What?  You don’t think that noise is scary in the night?  Ok.  You need to do an experiment at three in the morning.  Take newspaper and tear it length wise to create a good 1 to 2 second ripping noise.  Now go in the dark to someone’s bedroom and start making that noise until they wake up. If they don’t kill you for doing it, interview them and ask how scary it was…  On second thought, don’t do that…trust me it scared the poop out of me…

I would like to dedicate this installment of the Alfalfa’s Adventues to Jasmine.  She got her angle wings.   She was loved by all at The Cozy Cavy.

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Alfalfa’s Gift to Me on the First Day of School

I was planning on writing a completely different story for today.  However, something happened this morning that changed my mind…

I was nervous this morning getting ready for school.  I got up a half an hour early to make sure that I was early for school.  Looking in the mirror I mentally rehearsed my day.  I heard Alfalfa wheeking outside of the closed bathroom door.  “Dude,” I said opening it.  He looked up at me with those huge eyes.  *wheek* he said softly.

“Oh, is that a camera…again?” – A

“Do you want breakfast?” I asked.  He bolted for the kitchen.  I laughed as I heard his small feet running across the carpet.  As I followed, I saw him dancing at the edge of the kitchen.  He doesn’t like the tile floor so he won’t cross over into it.  I giggled stepping over him.  As I got some greens to put in his bowl, he began to dance even more.  This brought another smile to my face.  “Silly boy,” I said walking past him towards the living room and his house.  He followed and dove into his cage.  I put the food in the bowl and he dove mouth first into that too.

I finished my morning routine.  The last thing I always do is put my shoes on before leaving.  I sat down on the couch and put my shoes on.  I was still nervous.  I took a moment closed my eyes and took several deep breaths to relax.  I felt something at my right foot.  I opening my eyes I looked down to see Alfalfa backed up and partially sitting on my right shoe.  I giggled and said, “I don’t want to go either…”  He turned and looked up at me with those sweet, innocent eyes.  “Ok,” I said, “I’ve got to go…”  Alfalfa let out a small huff and walked away from my shoe.  That’s when I saw why he was there…

There was a large wet stain on my NEW shoe.  “Alfalfa!” I yelled.  “You peed on my new school shoes!”  I took off my shoe and half hopped and half ran over to the kitchen.  I grabbed a bunch of napkins and began to scrub.  The stain was not going anywhere.  Chunks of white paper stuck to the surface of the leather.  “Crap!” I cursed.

I heard Alfalfa wheek from behind me.  I turned and said, “My new shoes, pig!”  He was not fazed by the admonishment.  The stain on my shoe was not going away and time was running out.  “Crap!”  I put my shoe on and ran for the door.  I grabbed my stuff and opened the door.  I heard Alfalfa follow me to the door.  He tried to bolt from the apartment.  “No!” I said with a strong voice.  He stopped in his tracks.  “Stay!” I said.  Oddly enough he stayed where he was.  I went into the hallway and with the door cracked a bit said, “Dude, I love you…but tomorrow, don’t pee on my shoe…”  Closing the door I heard him let out a single wheek.  I sighed and left for work.

The first day of school was hectic.  It was one of those days where craziness ruled.  There were schedule problems, student problems, lateness problems, bell problems, lunch problems, and the freshman.  I stopped a pair of girls from fighting.  One of my 1^st period students told me that he hated me already…on day one.  My collaborative teacher refused to teach her part of the lesson telling me that she was ‘really tired’.  To sum up my first day:  it sucked.

After the final bell of the day I sat down at my desk.  I was depressed and just sad for such a bad opening day.  I hoped that the rest of the school year would go better.  One of my fellow teachers, John, walked into the room.  “How did today go?” he asked me.

“Oh, it sucked,” I replied simply.

“Yeah, mine was ok…hopefully it gets better…” John said.  I put my feet up on my desk and leaned back in my chair.

Sighing I said, “Well, we have 179 more to go…”

John looked at my shoes and asked, “Did you spill on your shoe today?”

I looked at my shoe and it reminded me of the morning.  I put my feet back on the floor and sat forward.  I put my head in my hands and burst out crying.  John walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.  “Hey,” he said softly, “Was it that bad?”

“No,” I said through my tears, “No it’s not that…”

“Then what?” he asked gently.

“My guinea pig Alfalfa peed on my shoe this morning…” I said between sniffles.

“Ooookaaaayyy” John is said characteristic bit of sarcasm.

“I’m tired, I’m emotional and I’m just ready to go home.” I explain drying my tears with a tissue.  I think I just need a nap.

“Yes, I have have great teeth. Can I test them on you?” – A

“You know that pig, he is a knuckle head…”  John stated.  “I’ve read your blog.”

I thanked John and he went back to his room.  I clean up and prepared for the next day.  It took me about an hour to finish.  On the drive home I became more and more depressed.  This was not the first day that I had hoped for.  Nothing seemed right to me.

Alfalfa was waiting for me when I got home.  He wheeked and wheek at me for dinner.  Of course I fed him first before getting my own dinner.  I sat down about an half an hour after the butt was fed.  When I looked over towards the door I saw him at my shoes.  He was sniffing at the left one.  When he got to the right one he sniffed more furiously.  He had recognized his own scent.

I walked over to the shoes.  “Dude,” I said.  He looked up at me.  “You admiring your…uhm…handy work?”  He looked down and sniffed again.  “Yes, that was you…  Why did you pee on my shoe?  Did you need to mark me?” I asked not expecting an answer.  “Does that mean you love me?”  Alfalfa pop-corned with that question.  “You do love, me don’t you?” he let out a small wheek.  “And that was your way of marking me as yours…Dude, I love you too…” Alfalfa pop-corned  for me again.  He melted my heart and lifted it at the same time with that simple movement.  I could not be depressed or mad about my day.  I had him.

“You want a treat?” I asked and he pop-corned again.  “Let’s go!” I said.  He bolted for the kitchen.  I heard his feet running across the floor.  “Silly pig” I said following him.  At that moment I knew that I was the luckiest person in the world because my guinea pig peed on my shoe to tell me how much he loves me…Wow, what a great day!

The Maintenance Guy Visit – Part Four

As I wrote this story, it developed a bit differently than I originally envisioned.  But, I think it is just as good as what I had planed to write originally!

I got home at 4:00 p.m. the day of the now infamous ‘air-conditioner’ incident.  The Property Manager (PM) saw my car as I drove past her office.  When I pulled in the parking lot, I saw PM trotting around the corner of a building a making a b-line for me.  Before I could even step out of the door she started talking.  “Thank God you are home!” she spewed in my general direction.  “Your guinea pig sounds like it going die…you need to check on him now!”

My special sign… I am just a ball off furry reveng! – A

“OK,” I calmed her grabbing my stuff out of my car.  “We can go now…”  I turned and locked my car behind me.  “I’m sure it is nothing… Come on…” I said motioning in the direction of my apartment.  She quickly followed me making clicking noise on the sidewalk with her heals.  We got to my building and went down to my apartment.  As I was unlocking the door I heard Alfalfa squeal.

“You see!” she panted.  “He’s going to die!”

I opened the door and as usual Alfalfa greeted me.  He was no longer behind the barrier I had put up earlier that morning.  “Alfalfa,” I cooed to him.  “Did you get out again?”

From behind me PM said, “Is he ok?”  Alfalfa heard her voice and chattered his teeth.  “Oh,” she said stepping to the side of me.  “Oh, he looks ok…”  That was Alfalfa’s cue to attack.  He ran past me and charged the PM’s feet.  She let out a shriek of surprise and jumped back.  My little furious ball of fur was out of the apartment and was in a standoff.

“Alfalfa!” I admonished as soon as I realized what was going on, “Get back in here…” He did not budge.

“Don’t move,” I told the PM, “I’ll get him…”  I bent down to pick him up and he bolted for the other side of the foyer.  PM took advantage of this, she was a blur as she ran past me into MY apartment.  I heard the door slam and the lock click home.  I was now locked outside of MY apartment with MY guinea pig.  I let out a, “what the hell?” as I looked around in bewilderment.  I knocked on MY door.  “PM?” I said sarcastically, “Uhmmm, you know that’s MY apartment?”

From behind the door came a reply, “That damn thing is going to kill me…”

“OH, GOD!” I yelled in exacerbation.  “It’s a damn guinea pig!”  I sat down on the floor outside of my door.  I hung my head in total frustration.  I sat about a minute before I noticed Alfalfa walking towards me from the far side of the foyer.  “You, sir, are a pain in my butt…” I said with little heart.  “Come here pig…”  Alfalfa pop-corned and then walked towards me.  He got close enough and I scooped him up.  He cooed at me.  “Yes, I know…” I comforted him.  “We have all had a stressful day…”  He sighed as he nuzzled into my shoulder.   I patted his back to comfort him.

I heard the door lock click open and PM stuck her head out.  “Is it gone?” she asked.

“I’ve got the furry monster,” I said quietly as not to disturb him.  She opened the door all the way.

“Ok, I’ll just get going now,” she said slinking away in the foyer.

“Ok, see you on Friday,” I said.

The PM stopped in her tracks.  “Friday?” she said turning to me.

“Yes,” I said with some frustration, “You still need to install my new air conditioning unit…”

“Oh,” she said, “Right…  Friday…  Ok…  See you then…”  She turned and trotted up the stairs looking back to make sure Alfalfa was still under control.

“Oh, pig,” I cooed, “What am I going to do with you?”  Alfalfa and I sat for a while comforting each other.  It was a long day for each of us.  Thank goodness we had each other.

Next week is the final installment of this story.  During that part of the story MG pays us another visit and we finally get an air conditioner that works!

Bad Bath Behavior

This is what I think of a bath! – A

This past weekend, Alfalfa was in quite a bad mood from the bath I tortured him with on Saturday morning.  After he was dry I placed him on the floor and told him, “Now, go play a bit.”  He was not happy with the whole situation or my dismissal of him so soon after the offending event.  He charged my feet and tried to bite my toes.  Jumping back I yelled, “Dude!”  He chattered his teeth and ran at me again.  I took evasive action and jumped up on the couch.  Standing there I looked down to see my guinea pig glare at me with only the menace a recently bathed boar could muster.  “What?” I said to him, “You were the one sitting in your poop!  I had to give you a bath.  You smelled…nasty.”  He huffed at me and chattered his teeth again.  “Well, don’t be a ‘poop sitter,” I explained borrowing the phrase from Phoenix Piig’s mom, “and you won’t get baths…as often…”

Alfalfa seemed to be satisfied with our conversation and went off to attend to more pressing matter under the bed.  Once he disappeared under the bed skirt, I waited several minutes to assure the coast was clear.  Standing there I began to feel ridiculous.  ‘What the hell am I doing?’ I thought.  ‘It’s just a guinea pig…a three-pound-ball of pooping fur!  I have nothing to fear.’  Gathering my courage I stepped down from the couch.  I braced for a charging boar.  Nothing.  The apartment was quiet.  I took a step towards the bedroom…and another…and then I saw the movement in the bed skirt.

I froze.  I held my breath so that I would not make noise.  My thoughts ran the gambit…  One second I was dismissing the fact Alfalfa was nothing but a guinea pig and the next I was wondering if I could jump on to the bed to avoid an attack from that same creature.  Risking it I took another step.  Alfalfa ran out from the bed skirt straight at me.  I swear that thing’s eyes were as red as red could be.  I let out all of my held breath in on rather loud and girlish scream.  “Aughhhhh!” I yelled and ran in the opposite direction toward the kitchen.  I half tripped over the rug, somehow planted a foot, turned, and hopped up to sit on the counter top.  The items I neatly stored on the surface got pushed back and crashed into each other with the sound of a bowling ball hitting pins.  I quickly pulled my feet up to ensure they were out of reach as Alfalfa entered the kitchen.

“HA!” I taunted my guinea pig, “I’ve managed to outsmart you!”  He chattered his teeth at me in anger from below.  “HA!  You can’t reach me up here!”  He stood there glaring at me.  I was in another show-down with my guinea pig.  I sighed, “I can’t do this all day, pig.  So, I propose a treaty.”  He turned his head with interest reacting to the word ‘treaty’ as if it were ‘treat’.  “If you want a treat, I’ll give it to you…today.  No questions asked; No complaints.”  He let out a small wheek.  “I’ll take that as a yes,” I said.  I grabbed a nearby dishtowel to act as an impromptu matador cape in case Alfalfa decided to charge me.  I got down off the counter top and started slowly towards the refrigerator.  I pleaded in a quiet voice, “Oh, I’ll give you lots of snacks today…”  Again, Alfalfa gave me a small wheek of approval.  He backed up into the living room giving him plenty of room to build up speed for a new series of attacks.

Opening the refrigerator, I reached for Alfalfa’s favorite food:  carrots.  As I picked up the bag, it rustled and Alfalfa let out a wheek of impatience.  I startled and the bag dropped bouncing off of the bottom shelf.  It spewed its contents all over the floor in front of the fridge.  Alfalfa was not scared or deterred by the orange vegetables raining from the sky.  He took it as a gift.  Sniffing the spilled food, he selected a rather large carrot and began to drag it off.

I let Alfalfa drag his carrot off thinking that he would give up.  I was sure that I would find it in the middle of the living room, partially eaten, and really dirty.  I picked up the carrots and washed them before returning them to the refrigerator.  I cautiously went to check on my guinea pig.  He and more importantly the carrot were nowhere in sight.  “Huh?” I thought out loud.  I looked for my crazy pet.  I saw something orange sticking out from under the bed skirt.  I bent down to pick up the carrot from under the bed skirt.  I grabbed it and was met with an unexpected resistance.  I dropped the carrot in surprise.  It moved and was pulled completely under the bed.  I heard Alfalfa chatter his teeth in anger.  “Oh,” I said realizing that my guinea pig was responsible for the resistance from the carrot.  I took several steps back from the bed anticipating another charge.

Alfalfa stuck his head out from under the bed skirt.  “Don’t worry,” I said with an apologetic tone, “It’s yours…it’s yours.”  He huffed at me and ducked back under the bed.  “Talk about a grudge,” I said walking back over to my computer.  ‘Oh, boy,’ I thought.  ‘This grudge thing is too funny.’  I updated Alfalfa’s Adventure’s status:  “How long do guinea pig grudges last?  Alfalfa is taking this bath grudge to the extreme… – KA.”  I received many, many interesting responses throughout the day.  Alfalfa took advantage of our agreement multiple times wheeking for treats below the spot on the shelf that contained them.  I couldn’t complain.  After all, I still had all of my toes.

- Kerry Anne

P.S. – Alfalfa and I would like to send good thought to the “Alfalfa’s Adventures” editor Carolyn Trimble-Weber.  We miss all of her red correction marks on the rough draft of this blog.  We hope she feels better soon!

One Obsessed Guinea Pig

Alfalfa having some afternoon grass...

All animals do some crazy things that their loving owns not only put up with but learn to love.  How many dog owners see their dog dragging its butt across the rug and remark, “Oh!  That’s so cute!  The dog has an itchy butt…”?  Or cat owners that have a dead bird dropped on the floor from their cat and say, “Oh! So, sweet!  The cat has brought us a present!”  All I can say is YUCK!

One of Alfalfa’s odder obsessions is with people’s toes.  His attitude is something like, “If it’s a naked toe, its fair game!”  Alfalfa doesn’t care whose toe he is going after.  He has nipped at my toes, my mom’s toes, my step-dad’s toes, my friends’ toes, and even my tax lady’s toes.  He never breaks the skin but you can tell that he’s gotten you.  I’m not sure if the nip even hurts or it is the shock of being ‘gotten’ that sends the shock from your toe strait to your brain.  Everyone always jumps and yells out when he does it.  All that is left behind is a person with a perplexed face holding their toe wondering what the heck is going on.

Alfalfa is a professional toe nipper.  He can sneak up on the most unsuspecting person.  One time my mom was visiting me overnight.  As she was getting ready for bed, she took off her socks and sat on couch.  I warned her, “Don’t leave your toes naked…the guinea pig is going to get them.”

“No, my toes are fine…” she responded flippantly to me changing the channel.

“I’ve warned you.  That’s all I’m going to say.  I’ve warned you,” I sighed.

“Duly noted,” she said changing the channels again. I let out a sigh and sat next to her tucking my feet up under me on the couch.

The rug in front of the couch is one of Alfalfa’s favorite attack zones.  I know this and tried to warn my mother of this.  I tried two more times to warn her.  She was having nothing of it.  I even deflected two of Alfalfa’s attempted toe attacks.  “Mom,” I pleaded with her.  “The guinea pig is going to bite your toes…”  She looked down at him sitting just off the runner in front of the couch.

“Not my Alfalfa!” she cooed to him.  He looked back at her with large ‘I”m the cute one’ eyes.   “Not that precious little thing…”  She went back to watching TV.  I got up and went into the bathroom.

I’m sure that Alfalfa’s moves were planned out and timed to coincide with my bathroom trip.  As I was brushing my teeth I heard my mom scream.  I jumped and hit the inside of my cheek with my toothbrush.  Dropping the brush in the sink, I ran out to the living room to see what the heck was going on.  My mom was standing on the couch with an incredulous look on her face.  “He bit me!” she yelled as she pointed at the floor.

“Who?  Alfalfa?”  I asked.

“Yes!” She panted.  “The guinea pig got my toe!”

“I warned you…” was all I could say.  “Is it bleeding?” I asked.  She sat down on the couch to inspect the potential damage.

“No,” she said with a grimace.  She looked up at me and said, “But you are…”

“Huh?” I said wiping the excess toothpaste foam from my mouth.  There was blood in it.  “Oh,” I said walking back to the bathroom.  I spit out the foam mixed with blood into the sink.  As I rinsed I felt the sting of the cut in my mouth.  “Ouch,” I moaned again as I opened my mouth to inspect the damage.  My mom walked up behind me and put her hands on shoulders.

“So, I’m the one that got bit and you’re the one with the injury?” she teased.  “Ironic…”

“Ha!” I said without humor.  “And I warned you.”

“I know…” she said kissing the top of my head, “You did…”

“That guinea pig is going to kill me,” I remarked as a spit out more blood out of my mouth into the sink.

“I know,” she said again, “And that’s why you love him…”

The Iced Tea Incident

This is my "NOPE!" pose. I like to give it to my mom as often as possible!

I like to drink my iced tea from a large green cup.  When I’m lazy, I will lie on the couch and place the cup next to it on the floor to the side of the arm.  This prevents me from getting up and knocking it over.  Even with Alfalfa running around, this arrangement has never been a problem…

One Wednesday night, I was lying on my couch watching TV.  I heard a small splash.  I sat up with concern listening to see if it had started to rain.  Hearing no more noise I lay back down on the couch.  I heard a slurping noise.  Sitting up again, I looked around and saw a dark spot on the carpet.  That is when what had happened registered…  My brain screamed, ‘Alfalfa!’

I looked over the couch arm to the spotI had left my iced tea.  My green cup was knocked over and there was iced tea all over the rug.  Alfalfa was happily slurping up the iced tea as fast as he could.  I yelled, “Alfalfa!”  Upon hearing his name, he ran off under the bed as fast as his legs would take him.  “Oh, no…” I moaned and got up to clean up the mess.  Luckily the majority of the liquid was pooling on the runner and not on the rug.  I gingerly picked it up and went to the bath tub to dump the liquid.  I returned to the living room with the rug cleaner from the bathroom closet to finish cleaning the mess.

Alfalfa poked his head from out of the bed ruffles at me.  I scorned him with, “Oh, so now we are knocking things over?  Huh?  That’s the newest trick?  Thanks for the mess.”  He huffed back at me at went back under the bed.  I finished my cleaning and took the cleaner to the bathroom to empty it.  I heard Alfalfa running zoomies as I put the cleaner away.  When I walked back into the living room, he ran under the bed.  I sat down to watch TV again.

Alfalfa darted from out the bed and did a zoomie in front of the couch.  As he was turning, he tripped himself and tumbled on the floor like a ball of rolling fluff.  I laughed at him.  He was not deterred by the slip-up.  He got up and ran another zoomie back to the bed.  He quickly returned and ran back.  Alfalfa was running zoomies like a mad man.  ‘What the heck?’ I thought to myself.  After the fifth one, I realized his behavior was not normal.  He was going crazy.

I got up off the couch and tried to catch my crazy guinea pig.  He would have nothing to do with me and ran away from me.  He had the energy to play a game of keep away for some time.  I was concerned about his health.  Guinea pigs are not supposed to have caffeine.  So, I called the vet.  The receptionist was appalled to hear that my guinea pig had consumed caffeine.  “You gave him iced tea?” she said with a tone of disapproval.  “NO!” I protested, “He knocked over my glass and helped himself!”  She still didn’t believe me but took a message for the vet to call back when he was done with a patient.

I sat on the floor and watched with a mix of amusement and horror as Alfalfa continued his zoomies around the apartment.  His energy seemed insatiable.  The vet finally called back after a half an hour wait.  I was expecting a verbal lashing from him.  Instead, I was greeted with amusement.  I explained to him what had happened.  He could not stop laughing at me or Alfalfa.  “That’s a great guinea pig,” he laughed.  He explained that I needed to watch Alfalfa and let him run off the caffeine.  He didn’t think that I would have a problem.  If there was a change or he got worse I was to call his answering service and he would see my problematic guinea pig.

Luckily, Alfalfa calmed down after about two hours.  I expected it to be a slow process.  However, one minute he was running and the next he flopped down on the rug in front of his cage.  He was breathing heavily.  As his breath slowed, his eyes began to close.  He was falling asleep.  I smiled and went back to watching TV.  He slept quite a while.  I checked on him several times.  His heart was strong and his breathing was deep and regular.  I went to bed.

When I awoke in the morning Alfalfa did not wheek for food when he heard me stir.  I got up and went to his cage.  He was lying in his house awake.  He did not look happy.  “Ha!” I said, “A bit hung over from your iced tea binge?  That will teach you!”  He chattered his teeth at me.  The poor boy spent most of the morning in his cage.  By the after noon he was up to his old tricks again.  My adventurous guinea pig had survived another incident.  Thank goodness.

- KA